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My brokeness sat like a two-ton boulder of adulting-is-too-hard on my chest.
You'd think a cockroach would make more effort to be likable, so you wouldn't want to kill him. But no. Kevin was a total dick. He deserved to be on the bottom of someone's shoe.
“The answers you seek are right in front of you,” she said in a tranced-out monotone. “Be watchful. Desperate love will breach the gate. In darkness, three rocks might save you, but true defeat will be sweet.”
What kind of angel hung out in a Magic 8-Ball? The triangle turned. “The kind who doesn't like to commute, okay? I work from home. I'm not sitting in traffic for you, dude.”
God thought you'd be more fun to watch if we sprinkled a bit of dumb into the species, and that's totally true.
