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Kindle Notes & Highlights
Stoicism teaches you to focus your thoughts and actions on that which you can control.
To develop consistent happiness, you must train yourself to desire only what you can always have, and fear only what you can always avoid.
The term amor fati, the love of fate, comes from the more modern philosopher Nietzsche. The idea, however, runs throughout the Stoic philosophy. If you can accept the world as it is, you will not desire things that will never be. This is not meant to discourage you from striving for better; after all, how would you have the virtue Courage if that were the case? But if you can’t come to terms with what is happening before you, your happiness will always be interrupted.
The Discipline of Action is focused on the virtue Justice, which we will explore further in the next chapter. For now, know that this discipline asks three things of you: •First, learn to take actions with a “reserve clause” (more on this soon). •Second, learn to choose actions that benefit both yourself and others. •Third, develop a healthier value system that will free you to take just actions.
Remember that our efforts are subject to circumstances, you weren’t aiming to do the impossible. Aiming to do what then? To try. And you succeeded. What you set out to do is accomplished.”
Infinite opportunity reminds us that every challenge presents a chance to practice virtue.
His goal was to do his best and—at this—he succeeded.
The metaphor of two handles will remind you that your approach to a challenge is a choice. In Epictetus’s example, you can repay injustice with injustice, or you can choose to be your better self.
“People feel disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them.” —Epictetus, Enchiridion
The Discipline of Assent requires your attention. Stoics saw assent as a three-step process: •First, something happens to you (initial impression). •Next, you recognize what happened (objective representation). •Finally, you add your own spin on events (value judgment).
Note that, as you improve, you may be tempted to demand the same from other people. Refrain from that urge. Instead, keep the standard you develop for yourself personal.
“Whatever, then, we shall discover to be at the same time affectionate and also consistent with reason, this we confidently declare to be right and good.”
Modern philosopher Pierre Hadot defines the virtues as follows: •Wisdom, “the science of what ought or ought not to be done.” •Courage, “the science of what ought or ought not be tolerated.”
•Justice, “the science of what ought and ought not be distributed.” •Moderation, “the science of what ought or ought not to be chosen.”
“He who is running a race ought to endeavor and strive to the utmost of his ability to come off victor; but it is utterly wrong for him to trip up his competitor, or to push him aside. So in life it is not unfair for one to seek for himself what may accrue to his benefit; but it is not right to take it from another.”
Moderation (sôphrosunê) is control over desires and, along with Courage, it is an expected outcome of practicing the Discipline of Desire. Moderation stands in opposition to excess. If you desire only virtue, then you can be reasonable in what you want
The Stoics viewed life as a banquet.
Stoicism says that there are things that, all being equal, it would make sense to prefer over others. Health and physical well-being over illness, for instance. They call those things that usually benefit us preferred indifferents and things that are often detrimental to people dispreferred indifferents.
The Stoics would say that if you build your emotional life around Fortune’s gifts, then there will be nothing constant in your life. How can you have any assurance of happiness if it can be snatched away at any moment? Wouldn’t it be better to find a secure happiness?
We call it the Dichotomy of Control. Every Stoic practice requires you to separate what you control from everything else, and everything else is a lot! Epictetus gives us four categories that you control directly: •your opinions about life •what you pursue in life •what you want •what you do not want
Opinions. Actions. Desires.
The Dichotomy of Control is freeing this way: It reminds you that you cannot control outcomes but can only do your best.
Happiness merely accompanies you on your journey when your travels are virtuous.
“Whatever then, we shall discover to be at the same time affectionate and consistent with reason, this we confidently declare to be right and good.” —Epictetus, Discourses
Giving a person the space to grow does not require you to remain in a dangerous position.
“When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you’ll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be the same as theirs, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they’re misguided and deserve your compassion. Is that so hard?”
“If you have been told that someone speaks ill of you, do not defend yourself: instead reply, ‘if they knew the rest of my faults they wouldn’t have mentioned only those.’” —Epictetus, Enchiridion
Defuse the situation by acknowledging that you have flaws and then move on to another topic.
It seemed so to them helps you remain grounded and in harmony when a person becomes challenging.
To paraphrase Marcus Aurelius, if you deal with bad times properly, they’ll actually become good times.
“Waste no more time thinking about what a good person
The goal which it assigns to us is to be useful, to help others, and to take care, not only of ourselves, but of everyone in general and of each one in particular.”
Stoicism has given you tools, but you are the one who will use them to overcome challenges to become your best self. You have all that you need to lead a flourishing life. Go out and show your resilience, find your joy, and use your uniqueness to create a better world.
