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“Girls are lizards. They don’t have souls.” “This is slander. Who says lizards don’t have souls?” She pretended to gasp. “And how do you mean?” “Cold blood. That’s why you always shower with extra-hot water.
“You’re so stubborn. So…tunnel-visioned. You’re such a…” “Cunt?” I offered indifferently. “A guy.”
Dear Santa, I always knew you were real. Thank you for giving me the gift I wanted, even if it’s three years and one week late. Yours, KJC
My theory proved to be correct. Girls were cold-blooded. The water was boiling. I shook inside it, thawing slowly. I looked down. I could see the veins under my normally tan skin, like thick ropes. Everything looked fragile, pale, unfinished. I was as sexy as a lizard.
“I’ll make you some tea,” she said. “I hate tea.” “You’ll drink tea.” “Give me one good reason to.” “I’m asking you nicely.” I gave her a do-we-know-each-other? look. She rolled her eyes. “I’ll let you touch my boob.” “Nipple too. I don’t want any side-boob action. That doesn’t count.” “Fine!”
“Sunshine,” he croaked. Of course—the sun was stronger, bigger, and more important than the moon.
Dear God, I’m a decent guy. I always buy the toffee-tastic cookies from Girl Scouts, knowing no one else in their right mind would buy the sandy motherfuckers. I explained masturbation to Lev so my dad wouldn’t have to. And I didn’t kill Vaughn, even though he touched Luna. Why do you hate me? What gives? Not-so-faithfully, KJC
“I love your brother and your father more than I love myself. I would die for them. Fight for them until the bitter end. Go against the whole world for them. But you…” She dragged her face up to look at me. Her eyes were full of tears. “I’ve always loved you just a tiny bit more. My regal, rebel boy. My legendary hellraiser, my sad prince, my unlikely savior, my beautiful, broken Knight.”
Howling as I curl in fetal position and sob
I knew forever wasn’t long enough. Not for a love like ours.
Wrecked.
“What if I hurt her?” “You’re not going to hurt her.” “How do you know?” “You’re not that big!” she exclaims, exasperated. I pause, mid-thrust, staring at her with horror. I know I am. I have statistics to prove it. We even used a ruler in the locker room back when I was a junior in high school. What kind of bullshit is this? Knight Senior doesn’t need this negativity from the love of its life. “Take that back right now,”
