This is the part not many talk about. The nerves. They feel electric, almost painful. I’m convinced it’s a form of panic because really, it’s fear. Fear that I’ll be caught, fear that I’ve screwed up. Fear that everyone is in on it but me. That last one is the worst. But I don’t throw myself on the ground and scream. I don’t hyperventilate. No tantrums, just movement. I cannot be in this place for one second longer.
