What It Takes To Be Free

by Darius Foroux

the price of freedom is high. Living the way you want means suffering voluntarily. People will get upset with you, maybe even abandon you. You have to do hard things. But on the other side of suffering is freedom.

The ultimate way of making yourself useful is by being an accountable, responsible, strong, and stable human being.

You know what you have to do to be free in life. You know what it takes. The answer might scare you, but that doesn’t make it untrue. You still have to do it.

To care about other people’s expectations is a sure way to end up resentful.

To grow, you must do hard things. That’s the purpose of life: To make yourself useful, to contribute, and feel good about what you do and who you are. And you want to do things in your own way.

So much of our frustration comes from spending time with people we have little in common with.

Too often, people use excuses to avoid responsibility. “But I’m useless. I can’t do anything, and I have nothing.” A free person never says that.

When you do the right thing others will be inspired to do the same. When you develop yourself, you can provide value.

But a free person does not want to appear free. You simply want to be free. There’s no need to show off.

Freedom is not about impressing others. You live for yourself and no one cares about your freedom but you.

You don’t need to spend $50K on a wedding to enjoy it. You don’t need to travel to the other side of the world to rest. You don’t need to have a Rolex to check the time. You don’t need a Range Rover to drive around town.

“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.”

Your parents, partner, manager, co-workers, and friends are not your boss. You are not anyone else’s boss either. You are only your own boss.

Never, ever, will you give up your sovereignty.

I had to give up many things in order to be free. But remember, freedom is the highest aim in life. There’s nothing greater or nobler than freedom.

A free person welcomes uncertainty. That will not only make you free, it will also make you less susceptible to the things an unfree person fears.

There’s nothing noble about self-destruction. It’s downright sad.

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

I am a guy who likes to read, write, watch movies, and have deep conversations with interesting people. If I don't want to do something, I don't do it. And I take full responsibility for it. That doesn't mean I stay in bed all day. That's something I don’t want.

I like to be with people who share the same values. That doesn’t mean I surround myself with “yes men” in my career.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Be honest about what you like and the things you enjoy.

You need to make yourself useful to be free.

I’d rather read about leadership on a Saturday evening than go to a bar. I’d rather write on my free evenings than watch T.V. I’m giving up some comfort, but in return, I become more adaptable to the future with every skill I acquire or improve.

The common mistake successful people make is to take on more work and responsibility.

That’s why I’m always delighted to hear people answer, “I will earn it all back” when they are asked, “What will you do if you lose everything?” That’s the mindset of a free person.

If I have to give up my wealth for my character, I will do it in a blink of an eye. Character is the only true thing you and I have. Everything else is borrowed.

You don’t have to do something “fun” every single free minute you have. That’s too forced. And when you force things, you’re not free. Entertainment and pleasure are cheap; everyone can be entertained and have pleasure. In contrast, freedom is expensive. Not everyone can pay, or is willing to pay, the price.

Being angry is a habit. If you have the habit of getting angry, holding grudges, and becoming resentful, understand that you’re not free.

To be free, you need to give up anger.

The only thing that’s necessary in life is food and shelter. You do whatever it takes to provide for those things. But you should never go into debt because you want a shiny car, buy fancy clothes, or go on a luxurious vacation. If you can’t afford something, you don’t buy it. It’s very simple. And yet, we’re all massively in debt.

Always have a plan to get out of debt. Do not accept debt as a way of life.

I struggled for five years.

Five years is about the right amount of time for dramatic life change

If you stay humble and keep challenging your ideas, you will keep learning.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”

Spend more time with your spouse than your co-workers. Get to know your siblings on a deeper level. Choose two or three friends to spend your time with. Love your family. The people you see every day should get your highest priority.

And don’t be afraid of what people you don’t care about think of you.

I don’t consider personal freedom a value. It’s my goal. And my values help me to get there.

It’s way harder to not buy. Businesses only have one objective: To sell you stuff. But remember that you’re the one who’s in control.

to be free, we need to be light on our feet.

Exercise should come before work.

I’d rather chase health than chase money.

We’re entitled to nothing.

The less you own, the better you feel.

“Nobody really owns anything. We give back our bodies at the end of our lives. We own our thoughts, but everything else is just borrowed. We use it for a while, then pass it on. Everything.”

A free person has no time to be disappointed. A free person makes a plan and then takes action. And if the plan fails? Draw up another plan. We can’t overcomplicate things. There’s no time to ask, “What about this? What about that?”

If you get your shit together, there’s not much you need in life. Everything is optional.