And the female midwives were the ones who were able to hold her and rock her when she fell to the ground sobbing with sadness for the grieving mothers and their babies. “That felt really natural for me to be in an empathic response with my patients,” she tells me, “and yet everything in the system teaches you to shut that down. We’re taught from the beginning to not feel, don’t take it on, don’t talk about yourself, don’t let anybody see how their experience is affecting you, be detached. And that way you can make rational, competent decisions and do your job.”
