Divergent Mind: Thriving in a World That Wasn't Designed for You

by Jenara Nerenberg

Neurodiversity is a paradigm shift that empowers women to come forward, be seen, better understand themselves, and proudly claim their identities.

Divergent Mind also highlights the pressing need for our definitions of “mental health,” “disorder,” and “mental illness” to evolve. For example, is ADHD a “disorder,” or is it simply one form the human brain takes in our species as part of a natural array of human brain diversity—much as biodiversity implies a variety of plants, colors, and fauna in an ecosystem?

If you, like me, pay attention either in spurts or overwhelmingly on one thing (called “hyperfocusing”), then your teachers or bosses may start to view you as if you don’t align with the “norm.” Thus, you unknowingly begin to edit and adapt—to mask—for survival. This begins a repeating cycle of censoring, attempting to fit in, and overall altering your performance of your “self” in the world, leading to depression, anxiety, burnout, or worse.

The DSM thus could be seen not as a final scientific document but rather as an ethnographic study—an account of how human beings are responding to the state and conditions of the world.

For autistics, sensory sensitivities often dictate the development of particular behaviors. Stimming refers to movements—such as flapping the hands or tapping the fingers—that help relieve anxiety that comes with overstimulation. It can also take the form of mental stimming, such as repeating numbers, words, or letters (also referred to as echolalia). When I was a child, for instance, I had a mental count of the electrical poles on my street, and every time we drove by, I had to mark in my mind the midpoint between each pole.

As in the case of autism, our outdated stereotypes are based largely on an initial excitement and eagerness in the medical community to capture and frame a so-called new set of behaviors that started surfacing. And because so many girls and women with ADHD are “smart” and have done well in school, they’ve flown under the diagnostic and research radars. Women with ADHD who have struggled for years with logistical challenges often develop a nagging sense of not being good enough, never being able to “hit the mark” at work or home, and they struggle with anxiety and depression.

ADHD is not a deficit of attention, but rather a challenge of regulating it at will or on demand. People with ADHD often have too much attention—just not at the “socially acceptable” times or situations found in our highly regimented and structured societies.

when she’s alone in a room, as she’ll forget about tasks that need to get done in the real world. “Living alone is difficult because I’ll wake up in the morning and there’s no human presence reminding me that the things in my head are not actually happening and I need to be here in this present physical world doing things. There are days when it will take me hours to get up and brush my teeth. I’ll just be sitting in bed doing the laundry and running errands in my head, but not actually doing them.”

Schneider and I talk about how much “managing” we’ve had to do in our everyday lives—managing our boundaries, energy, sensory challenges, activity levels, relationships, work life, and more. For instance, if she’s invited to go to the zoo, she immediately imagines the heat, sounds, animals, and crowds of people. But if she’s invited to a swimming pool that she has visited several times before, that familiarity makes her feel more at ease.

It’s noteworthy that Freud regularly used cocaine and touted its “miracle” features until his middle age, when he was met with backlash and scorned for such assertions.

It’s worth noting that the same demographic that led psychology’s history—white males—is also responsible for the growth of positive psychology, which, in combination with “mindfulness,” has grown to dominate not only the field but also popular psychology books and blogs.

A neurodiversity approach to psychology, however, does not seek to mute those aspects of ourselves deemed “less positive,” unhelpful, or “less productive.” Instead, as we have seen, the neurodiversity framework rests upon reframing the experience of humanity, particularly our notions of “disorder.” Rather than trying to rid people of anxiety, neurodiversity proponents seek to uncover the source of the anxiety as having to do with how an experience of cognitive difference in our society creates that anxiety—and feelings of insecurity, alienation, loneliness, and depression.

Understanding and reframing difference becomes the key to shifting experience and relieving anxiety. Instead of your difference being what holds you back, its gifts can be uncovered. Some refer to this as unlocking a kind of “superpower,” and discerning difference as power can be invigorating.

“Being able to really validate the person for their sensitivity is important. There’s such a tendency to be pathologized for being sensitive, and this pathologization—because we are social creatures—makes it vital to have another person reflecting back the positivity and wisdom of the sensitivity.

He then discusses the utility of a diagnosis and points out that it’s only as effective as the treatment it helps provide.

To pay out of pocket for therapy that is anti-oppression, that is hard. I want to serve, but I am also forced to diagnose.”

There are different kinds of trauma—the very nature of being human is to be subjected to life experiences that shape us, in both challenging and uplifting ways.

“Many times, the only thing holding us back is thinking we need to work like others. Build on your strengths and be fearless.

Being myself often looks like lightning bolts of inspiration, needing to pause a conversation to write down an idea, emailing or calling someone spontaneously, or needing to take a quick rest when I’m overstimulated or work from home when I have a headache.

“What I’d like is that ADHD become associated with good things and with abilities that are valued in the company and in the community as a whole.”

“There’s finally some more research coming out about how women are better at camouflaging, so our tests may not even be sensitive enough for girls or women,” Braden says, meaning that standard diagnostic criteria don’t take into account masking, so women slip under the radar. “We’re still grappling with human cognition and traits. The way things are laid out in the DSM right now may not be the most accurate.”