Swimming in the Dark

by Tomasz Jedrowski

I was paralyzed by possibility, caught between the vertigo of fulfilment and the abyss of uncertainty.

The bread is white and already sliced. Over here, all you have to do is chew.

The geography of you was suddenly as clear as that of the city, skin warmed like the bricks of the tenement houses, the lines of your body like the straight and unbroken lines of the avenues, of the tram tracks and the stiff metal barriers that threw crisscrossed shadows onto the streets.

I guess there is no photographic memory for emotions.

And yet, it occurs to me now that we can never run with our lies indefinitely. Sooner or later we are forced to confront their darkness. We can choose the when, not the if. And the longer we wait, the more painful and uncertain it will be.