The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People

by Rachel Wilkerson Miller

If you’re making group plans, ask everyone to share their ideal budget/range for lodging, activities, etc. before you do any research. (Ideally, they’d share this info privately with the main organizer, but it may not always be possible.) If you’re willing to pick up the tab for dinner or drinks, say “my treat” when you invite your friend so they don’t stress about it (or decline because they can’t afford it). If you’re assuming you’ll split the cost of something evenly, make sure they are on the same page. Ask them how much they are willing to spend on tickets to an event before you make the purchase, and be clear about the date by which you expect them to reimburse you. Remember to suggest free activities from time to time, and be kind if they tell you that they can’t afford the upgrade you’d really love to splurge on. Lead by example: Be willing to say something is too expensive for you, so they know they can do the same. Ultimately, just be mindful of the fact that a lot of people won’t tell you directly that they are broke—and know that even people who have money will likely notice and appreciate your being thoughtful and considerate about others’ finances.