If you do something nice, don’t expect a response or a thank-you message. I respect the importance of thank-you notes, but all bets are off when a person is in crisis. If you give someone a gift in terrible circumstances, do so with the knowledge that it might go “unnoticed.” They might not have the bandwidth to thank you or send a card . . . and then a lot of time might pass and they’ll either forget or feel too embarrassed to do so. Don’t take it personally. (I actually recommend adding “no need to respond” or “no need to thank me” to the card accompanying the gift to free them of this
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