The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People

by Rachel Wilkerson Miller

What messy, cluttered, or dirty areas in your home make you feel bad or make life more difficult? What neat, clean, tidy areas in your home make you feel good or make life easier? Put some thought into what specifically makes you low-key mad every single day, what slows you down when you’re getting ready and getting out the door, what gets in the way of cooking or preparing food, what causes tension with housemates, and what makes it harder to engage in or enjoy the other things you care about (e.g., hobbies, entertaining, working from home, sleeping). And also think about the things that make you demonstrably happier whenever they are taken care of. All this can help you determine which chores specifically feel valuable and pressing to you. How do you feel physically during and after chores? Doing chores can be a literal pain. If you have arthritis, asthma, bad knees, or a disability, you might find it difficult to do a lot (or all!) of the chores you’d like to do. In some instances, you may be able to figure out tenable solutions. But you also may not be able to. And that’s fine! The point of this exercise is to figure out what makes sense in your life.