The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People

by Rachel Wilkerson Miller

Alternatives for other scenarios: “All of this negativity is sucking the joy out of what used to be a really fun space.” “These comments aren’t funny and are, in fact, incredibly concerning.” “This behavior is creepy and really, really not OK.” “These comments are so cruel they make me question your character, and I’m not comfortable being around you right now.” And if the person isn’t making you personally uncomfortable, definitely talk to the person who raised the issue and find out what exactly they’re OK with you sharing. They may be fine with your saying, “You’ve been really nasty to Quinn lately and it’s not cool” . . . but they may prefer you go with a more vague option like, “You’ve made a lot of really mean comments during our past few hangouts, and folks were getting fed up with it.” That said, try not to pass the buck too much here; it might be wise to add “and I can see why” or otherwise communicate that