The Art of Showing Up: How to Be There for Yourself and Your People

by Rachel Wilkerson Miller

A Modest Proposal: Take Notes When Hanging Out with Friends I’ve been invited to join my friend Julia’s Ladies Article Club on a few occasions when I’ve visited her, and it’s always such a treat! One of my favorite aspects of this hangout is that someone always takes notes during the gathering. The note-taker writes down anything that comes up in conversation that warrants some kind of follow-up—so basically, if someone mentions a product or a recipe or a podcast episode or a good Instagram account, the note-taker adds it to her list. Then she’ll start an email thread with everyone later on to collect/share the items mentioned. I’ve always thought this idea was so smart and efficient, and I’ve started doing it more when hanging out with friends—even just, like, during a coffee date. I like doing it because it’s practical, but also because writing these items down in my journal creates a mini diary entry about the hangout/the conversation. I was recently at my friend Emily’s apartment for a little friend dinner party, and when she mentioned a book she liked, I said, “Wait, I’m going to write down the stuff we talk about so I can look it up later.” I pulled out my notebook and pen, and another friend, Jess, said, “Welcome to Rachel’s meeting,” and everyone laughed. AND YET! An hour or so later, Emily asked me where my pullover and my socks were from, and when I told her, she said, “Wait, I want to write all this down,” and took out her phone and opened the Notes app. And lat...