The relationship has energy and intensity, and sometimes Anna asks herself whether it’s sexual or romantic and then decides no, probably not. “I cannot figure that out,” Anna tells me. “But also, I’m more and more okay with not knowing” and not forcing herself to figure it out. “There’s not a known structure, but I’ve spent my whole life letting other people define these structures and trying to fit into what they experience the structure of a relationship to be.” It’s better to accept the questions without demanding answers, to exist in the “open-ended lived experience” of the moment, one
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