It is not necessary to prove that sex is inherently good. It is not. For some, it is never good and never wanted, no matter how seemingly ideal the circumstance or how caring the partner. Mixed experiences, mixed layers of agency, and mixed attitudes toward sex all exist, and honoring these is more important than clinging to the idea sex is by default nice, or that there always exist conditions under which it can be wonderful. Sex is complicated, and accepting what happens and how people feel—even if it transgresses expectations of how things are supposed to happen and how people are supposed
...more