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Stupid Barron and his white sweatshirt smeared with charcoal, the smell of watermelons, and that weird way he always defends me and destroys me at the same time.
So long as you’re alive, this too shall pass. There is always a sunrise; there’s always a tomorrow.
Like I meant nothing. Like I meant everything.
“You hurt the things you like. And I'm pretty sure you don't want to like me. You're angry about it.”
“You know, some part of me wants you to get pregnant.” He flexes his jaw, turning to look back at me with a face as sharp and cunning as a fox's. “Because then I'll be allowed—no, encouraged—to be with you. Otherwise, my dad will never let me have a girl like you.”
“All those years and all I wanted was you. Every girl I fucked had your face. Every movement I made, I did for you. But you let his cruelty go and punished me for mine. I'm mad, Karma. I'm righteously pissed.”
“Because you gave me a taste of what it'd be like if you were mine.”
This boy is going to bleed you dry, Karma Sartain.
Nothing lasts forever. That is the nature of beautiful things.
Luke's always joking that if a pandemic occurred, toilet paper and sanitizer would be the first items to go, that they'd be used as currency in place of money. She has a small hoarded stash back at her dorm room.
Instead, what they don't realize, is showing another human your flaws and your imperfections, your dreams and desires, that's true strength.”
“You did a freshman project on them,” he says, his voice echoing slightly off the curved rock walls. “I remembered it, so when I saw them, I thought I'd send you one for Devils' Day.”
“I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you,”
“But that's what feminism is about: you make your own choices, whatever makes you happy. If it's a fucking ferret, it's a fucking ferret.”
“She isn't interested in either of you; she's better than both of you.” Barron goes back to drawing as Raz scoffs in disgust.
She's standing in an alcove, beneath curving rock walls, a butterfly in her hand. Baron's drawn … me. In a timeline he doesn't even remember.
Love. Did I just think the word 'love'? This isn't love; it's obsession.
“Raz and Calix are both in love with you, just thought you should know,”
“I suppose I'd tell them that you were mine,”
That's the shit I need to stop doing, letting other's actions influence my own happiness. I am the source of my happiness. I must also remember that I am the designer of my own catastrophe.
Sometimes, it's easy to forget how a simple question or an easy smile that doesn't mean much to you, can mean the world to someone else.
It's as if … Raz was jealous of Calix all this time. Barron was judging me. And Calix cared too much what other people thought.
“You shouldn't just live for tomorrow,”
“Sometimes, tomorrow never comes. Now is just as important.”
Love is irrational, certainly. Mad as a hatter.
“But you can demand respect. Could you give it to me?”
“You're so … you, Karma. I fucking crave it.”
“I have for years. I try to talk myself out of it, tell myself that I don't care what you do or where you go, but I do. I'm obsessed with it.”
“What if everything I said to you was true, and I've loved you even harder since I let you go?”
“That was my first time, too,”
“I haven't touched another girl since.”
“Kiss me, Karma. And then ride me. I don't care if I see a ghost. He can watch if he wants, but we're not stopping until the goddamn ghost tour.”
“And kiss me like I matter.”
“Run away with me after school is out; I'll take you anywhere you want to go.”
I'm just asking you to get lost with me.”
“Let's get lost together.”
“I got sick of playing pretend. You never do, no matter how hard or how long I play my parts, you just never show up to the act. Maybe I wanted to see what would happen if I didn't? Just for a minute.”
“I love you, Karma. Always have. Don't think I can ever stop.”
“Je t'appartiendrai malgré tout. Toujours,” he murmurs as I drift to sleep, wrapped up in Calix's arms and feeling his breath in my hair. Regardless, I’ll still belong to you. Always.
“J'ai embouti ta voiture pour te faire une crasse, Calix, rien de plus,”
We think our actions have little effect on the world around us, but that isn't true. Just one person, one moment, one single word can change somebody else's world entirely.
“Marry me, Karma; let's get lost together.”
Because I'm not as strong as you. I wouldn't survive what Calix did to you.”
He’s the dream and I, I am stuck in a nightmare.
“If I am in a Disney movie, then I’m most definitely the villain. Karma’s just managed to find the unreleased ending where I actually win the day.”
“I’ve had plenty of sex, but it didn’t mean shit. You mean something to me. I’m going to prove that to you by not fucking you today.”
Live to fight another day, right? Or die to fight one. Either way. Another day, it is.
