“Holy mother of God! Fucking hell! Owwwwww! Woman, I hate you! Owwwwww! It burns like the fires of hell!” I shout as the last, thank God, strip is torn from my body. My colon may have just been removed also. I flop myself down on the bed, and yes, I hide my face and allow a tiny tear or two to drop onto my pillow. Don’t judge me until you’ve been in this predicament! As I’m lying there, counting the different ways to make Bailey pay, she starts applying a cool soothing lotion to my angry parts. Oh, wow, that does feel better. Not great, but a little better. I may survive this after all. “The
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