The Insecure Girl's Handbook

by Liv Purvis

a national report on the state of self-esteem (commissioned by the Dove Self-Esteem Fund) discovered that 62 per cent of girls feel insecure or not sure of themselves, and seven out of ten believe they aren’t good enough or ‘don’t measure up’ in some way.

This book is a comforting hug, a reassuring smile and a pep talk, from one insecure girl to another, served in digestible chunks (when a two-for-one pizza offer just isn’t going to cut it).

should say and how that can be useful. Typically, the ‘super-ego’ voice in our head is hyperbolic, cruel and inaccurate. Imagine your inner critic personified and looking like an evil Bond villain (or angry chauvinist driver) with a deep furrowed brow and cackling laugh. Give it a name if you like, and write down the things that your inner critic says to you.

saying ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ on Pinterest. Pinned alongside a ‘Dream big. Laugh lots.’

Like success, the definition of ‘busy’ is messy, complex, and far less polished than we tend to give it credit for.

Being mindful of the world around me helps me to realise there is more to life than how many likes you get on Instagram, or what so-and-so had for breakfast.’ LUCY, Manchester

For example, I’ll read that Stylist article I didn’t quite finish on the way home, or text a friend to check in on them. Or even better, I’ll check in on myself! ‘Time spent better elsewhere’ has never been more applicable.

But sometimes, that house has a difficult landlord. A puzzled, unreasonable homeowner that takes those things for granted. Who becomes fixated not on the house’s functionality and purpose, but how it looks and how others might look at it – and suddenly that becomes far more important than what’s going on inside.

I am an able-bodied, white, slim woman who is able to go into Topshop and pick out something in her size with minimal fuss.

One thing I’ve learnt is that worrying has never changed the outcome of a situation that has already happened. You’ve already put your best foot forward (and even if you haven’t, there’s time to apologise and move on). You can analyse your behaviour until the cows come home, but whether or not somebody likes you will never be your decision.

The fear of looking like you’re bragging is something that steers us away from sharing so much – which, although sometimes a good thing, can also prevent us from moving forward. It’s not a quality to be proud of, but knowing the difference between a gentle bit of celebration or self-promotion and a public gluttonous gloat is crucial – and you might be surprised to hear that most people can spot the difference a mile off.