Life is what you make it

by Preeti Shenoy

He said he never remembered being so enthusiastic about life, before this. He said I gave him an anchor, a purpose and a meaning to his existence. I told him he was a sentimental fool and he should write poetry. Secretly of course, I loved it. He knew it too. I liked being adored. I liked the feeling of being so important to someone. I liked being the centre of someone’s world.

“Looking in your eyes I see a paradise This world that I’ve found Is too good to be true Standing here beside you Want so much to give you This love in my heart that I’m feeling for you…”

Sometimes decisions that are taken in the nick of a moment are the ones that have the power to affect a whole train of events that follow. But at the moment of taking those decisions, not much thought goes into them. They are taken normally, and in retrospect, cause a great deal of contrition or remorse.

There are those who look at things the way they are and ask why. I dream of things that never were and ask why not. Why not? Why not?”

The depth of those words would hit me only years later, after I had undergone a lot more and after I had been wiser. That time I had not even said I would because I really did not know and saying things like these seemed a bit silly. We had bid good bye to each other. In the years to come, I would replay this scene in my mind over and over, again and again, his words echoing in my ears.

They say when a calamity strikes you, it stuns your normal senses so much that emotions are held in check. Perhaps that is what happened with me.

“I know he loved you. I don’t know what happened between you two, but I have only one thing to say. You are young, you are pretty. Please remember molle, sneham mathram puchikaruthu. No matter from where it comes,”

There was to be no next time. This was the zenith, the pinnacle. There would be more mountains to climb, but of a different kind. But to climb those, I had to descend first.

I think I owed my second shot at life entirely to this man. He kept me alive many times over. He talked to me like I mattered. He truly cared and that made all the difference. It is indeed amazing how words and kindness have the power to heal, perhaps much more than medicines.

Sometimes all one needs is a strong anchor, a person you can trust blindly. Someone who will lead you on, be there for you and never let you down. To me, Dr. Madhusudan was that person. His presence calmed me. His words reassured me. I trusted him completely.

That evening, Anuj and Sagar had a gift for me. I was pleasantly surprised and touched. “What is the occasion?” I asked them, trying to guess what was inside the nicely wrapped packet. “You don’t need an occasion to make others feel good, Ankita. Life is a celebration!” said Anuj.