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I couldn’t find another way to put my muddled thoughts into coherent words.
Memories are funny things. I carried them like scars.
Oh, how easy it was to lie without actually lying.
“I’m twenty-nine years old. I have plenty of time.”
“Hello, Robbie,” Elizabeth Bennett said. “You’re looking less pale today. All this exertion is doing wonders, I think.” I punched her in the face.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “Really? Listen to my heart, Kelly. Oh. Wait. You can’t do that, can you?” He didn’t flinch. And I admired him for it. It came out of nowhere, and it slapped me across the face because I was impressed.
“Was I useful? Did I contribute to the pack?” I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Did I matter?” I hated how it sounded, like I was fishing. Like I needed his approval. I did, though. I needed to hear him say it.
He was watching me with human eyes, and I thought I could love him.
“I’m always serious,” Ox said. Carter sighed. “You know, you take this Werewolf Jesus thing a little too far.” He twirled his hand in the air above him. “Take this bread, all of you, for it is my body. Eat of me and—” “Your little brother doesn’t seem to mind eating my bread.” Carter looked horrified, even as Joe screeched incredulously. Ox grinned. “Anything else, Carter, before we begin? I could tell you about how Joe likes to—” Carter shook his head. “Nope. In fact, I’d really rather not hear you say anything ever again.
I took a deep breath, choosing my words carefully. “If there’s any weakness, it’s you.” Kelly gasped, but Ox ignored him. “Explain.” “You’re an Alpha,” I said, “which means you’re willing to sacrifice yourself for your pack. But it goes further with you. With all of you. And if I… if I wanted to hurt you, hurt your pack, I would exploit that.”
“Just because it wasn’t profound to you doesn’t mean it wasn’t for him,” I said quietly. “You think so?” “I do.”
“Damn right,” Rico said. “I’m sick and tired of the fucking people in this pack who think that self-sacrifice is a legitimate way to go. We do this together or we don’t do this at all. And Ox, don’t you dare say a goddamn word, because you’re the worst. Don’t think we’ve forgotten about what you did with Richard Collins. You aren’t going to be able to so much as breathe without one of us noticing. You thought a hand through your stomach was bad? Try it again and see what I do to you.”
Here, at the end. I’m laughing. It’s choked and terrible, but I can see the moment it hits him. There’s fear on his face, though he tries to cover it up. And it only makes me laugh harder. “I love you!” I scream into the cool morning air, a heartsong like I’ve never sung before. “Kelly! I love you! I love you! I love you!” And then everything I am is gone.
