Sincerely,

by F.S. Yousaf

I have fallen furiously in love with you. So hell-bent and damned To call you my own, That my heart burns At not being able to fully capture The soothing aura you give off.

I pray our story does not end like theirs. I only desire a tale of stability and peaceful mornings.

I have jumped from house to house My whole life. Stability, for me, has been nearly nonexistent, But I have hope That you could be my home For as long as I live.

I hope your search has ended with me. I pray we begin our journey together.

Keep on talking about how lovely Our future will be. As every word escapes your mouth, Glimpses of hope Appear in my heart.

I did not enter your life To hold you back from your goals— To make you feel miniscule. I crave success for you, Even more so than for myself.

I asked you how our love was doing, And you responded by saying That it was as tight as a knot. And while your words gave me déjà vu, I turned back and asked you again After some time, How is our knot doing now? And you responded, Tighter than before.

I always counted down the days Until I saw you again. These moments with you Were the only times I felt like my true self.

The bond we share Is exquisitely genuine And undoubtedly natural; Our souls may have met In a past time.

One of my many goals in life Is to give you the type of love That I had always desired.

There is something so sweet About the way your voice sounds Early in the morning. It reminds me of a time When I believed that happiness Was unreachable. But I am here, Astonished by the way You make me feel.

I was told That the feelings would die down. But here I am, Excited for every new day I get to spend with you.

Once we harmonized, Your goals and dreams Also became mine. And I so dearly Wanted to see you Achieve them all.

You knew it was a lie, Even when I pleaded “I’m fine, I promise.” You could tell By the way Anxiety danced in my eyes. And I am forever grateful That you know every inch of me.

You became the occupant of my mind, The beat of my heart, And the tranquility in my soul. You became my life, My solace, The best person I ever knew.

While I sit here In the midst of the night, Writing away to you, I think of every single little Memory that makes us whole. The good, and even the bad. They have led us to Each other’s sanctuary.

Search for me in my silence And search for me When my rambunctious nature Takes over the calm and peace. Search for me, For I do not search for myself. Aid in finding me For I may never find myself on my own. — I will find my own voice soon

Hold me until my breathing calms, When my heart is not pounding Through my chest with a rib-shattering ferocity. Hold me even after the exhausted slumber That comes with these cursed episodes. And as much as I wish for them To leave me be, Your presence comforts my mania With unbounding hope for an uncomplicated future.

I ask myself constantly: What if there is no cure for this ache, This pain that resides in me? And although you cannot fix the ache You are there to help me through the journey So I do not wander this dark path alone.

This. Tho you do not fix the ache thank you for being there with me as we navigate through it all

You bring me happiness, But you are not the cure For my sadness. That I must find On my own.

Every breath I shared with you Felt as if I was reborn. A clean slate And a vast amount of time To improve upon my imperfections. With you, I was accepted with open arms.

Even when I think of you The fog does not dissipate. My body remains the same: Trapped in a boundless cloud. But what the thought of you does Is give me some sense of direction— A purpose for me to keep pushing forward And never give up. No matter the days that have passed Or how many steps I may have to retrace. For who knows, Perhaps one day I may be able to see the sky again.

Three years ago I had difficulty thinking of the future. I could not think past The minutes and hours That lay ahead of me. I was living day by day, Anticipating some Sort of end. Your timely arrival Was a memorable one. And I thought to myself That this could possibly be The person who can surely Ignite a fire in me. You saved me From myself,

And make every day Worth looking forward to.

With you being the only certainty in my life, I decided to abandon the fear Of losing you. Knowing that our time here is temporary But acknowledging the love We share will live on for eternity.

There have been moments Where you saw me hurting— Ever since the beginning When the dark clouds would hover over me, You would not run away, But run towards the storm, Providing shelter To a person so comfortable With having no one there before.

have loved you for years, Which in turn have felt like An entire lifetime. Our vows renew When we are nearly broken, And we keep the love Ever flowing.

We promised each other forever, And I find myself praying for that vow To be fulfilled under a celestial date tree Which stretches farther than our eyes can see, And by rivers freely flowing With milk and honey. I pray our love is heavenly Enough to be suited For the hereafter.

Please give her strength, For my efforts are minimal Compared to her adversity. Make her stronger for herself, And give me another reason To look up to her.

The sky is weeping And the ground Is filling up with angels’ tears. Today all I’m praying for Is you.

I am captivated By God’s art. Every sunrise, Sunset, And you.

Many stand in our way, Refusing to let us live The life we have always envisioned. But as long as we have resilience And faith, We will never be stopped.

You have many sleepless nights, And it pains me to know That you are not getting the rest You desperately need. I will be there soon, And hopefully my presence helps.

I was told that before Our souls are exhaled into our bodies We meet one another in a place which we cannot remember Any longer. When I met you, It was as if there was already An established comfort and familiarity Between us. As if we had known each other For many, many years.

I have stood by you In glory And in pain. What makes you think That I am not here To stay?

Of all the places Where we have traveled, Your happiness Has been my favorite sight.

I seem to be calm, Smiling larger And laughing with ease. My thoughts do not disturb me, As they are too busy Orbiting around you.

It is said That some people are meant for one another. That the ones who mingle in this life Are the ones who met in heaven before Their lives began. That connection— A familiar lightning That struck as soon As we spoke our first words To one another. I had heard you before In a place where we are no more, And I am delighted That our souls have been reunited once again.

Your heart has so much room for love That I sit here, In complete wonder At how it could possibly be so. You have seen And felt terrible emotions— Some which made you feel Minuscule and beneath the ground. I am here for you Through the storms and the calm. I am here for you Through the anger And the peace. I am here for you Through the frustration, And tranquility.

You do not deserve most Of the fires that come your way, Yet you handle them gracefully. As if you have lived with them Lifetimes over. It pains me how little I can do, But I hope the sincere amount I give Brings you a degree of happiness.

I ask myself why, Through all my chaotic emotions, You have been constant. It’s not that I fell for you, Or planned for this story; It all happened in a whirlwind. Even past our first words shared, You found comfort within me As I did with you. Comfort within a person. That’s what our love is.

We carve our initials on trees, Hoping for others to see— To be a reminder of How our love has grown. Wild, untamable, And thick like the trunk Of the old tree. A reminder that our love Is a shelter for us, Providing shade For whatever weather may come our way.

We move at the same time, Limb by limb, And make sure that both of us Are on the same page before Moving even further.

Her voice Could capture me easily. Like a riptide Sweeping me against my will. The sheer strength and power Was mesmerizing On its own.

Our letters of love Became the bridge To deeper understanding. A place where ordinary words Could not survive.

I am so entirely filled with love That I feel guilt In not being able to share these Emotions with others. As if I am finally being watered After years of being barren, All while knowing others do not feel The sweet liberation of compassion. I will never get used to this splendor.

always told myself That I could not possibly Fall more in love with you. But here you are, Proving me wrong once again.

When you crumble, I hurt with you. But I do not stand idly by. I will extend my hands And catch every piece As you fall. I will be by your side as you Rebuild, and help you In the process. You are half of me, A purer, gentler half. I am not whole when you Are not whole yourself.

There have been numerous fights, Some which have left us torn And thinking of our end. But love is not love Without trials that test endurance. What would we be if we were to quit At the worst of moments?

We sacrificed plenty To make sure Our future Did not suffer The same fate As our past.