“But!” she says, pausing to make sure I am listening. Her favorite is her “handy-dandy Beretta. Sixteen gauge.” I’m unclear on whether owning three guns makes one feel thrice as safe as one gun, or if gun ownership is, like potato chips and birthdays, subject to diminishing returns. Over the course of years, Beretta began to think seriously about pulling out a gun (I am delighted to learn that, in the model of an Agatha Christie character, she keeps one stored in her umbrella stand) and shooting one of Doughnut Lady’s bears.
