“When I was growing up, you couldn’t be tender; that was not a safe option. This is both a function of masculinity as it’s performed in our society, as well as the kind of neighborhoods and circumstances I grew up in.” One of the limitations of it is the exhaustion of having to have your guard up. “It’s like having to put on armor. I guess that’s the best metaphor that I could use. And I really do mean that metaphor very intentionally. Because it isn’t just the protective shield, but it also makes it harder for you to move around in the world. And it’s heavy, it’s a burden. I’ve worked really
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