The President Is Missing

by Bill Clinton

“My answer is the same,” I say. God, I sound like an ass. Worse yet, I sound like a lawyer.

“I’m sorry my private conversation was overheard. If a man had said it, it wouldn’t be an issue.”

“The United States of America will become the largest third-world country on earth.”

“America,” he says, as if considering it. “I did rather enjoy the baseball contest.”