The question therefore is not whether or not to listen to our opponents. The questions are: When is it my role to listen? When am I emotionally and physically safe? When can I take on the labor of listening when others are not safe to do so? We can all be one another’s accomplices. At any given time, there are some opponents I cannot wonder about—I need others to do that labor for me as I tend to the wounds they inflict. But there are some opponents I find I am in a position to listen to. In these moments, it is time to turn to the practice of how.
