Fleabag: Scriptures

by Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Don’t make me hate you. Loving you is painful enough.

want to move on, I want to apologise to…everyone,

I just want to cry…all the time.

Why do daughters get to say they are fucked up by their fathers when it’s so often the other way round.

And sometimes I wish I didn’t even know that ‘fucking’ existed. And that I know that my body, as it is now, really is the only thing I have left and when that gets old and unfuckable I might as well just kill it.

Either everyone feels like this a little bit and they’re just not talking about it…Or I am completely fucking alone. Which isn’t fucking funny.

Maybe happiness isn’t in what you believe, but who you believe.

Women are born with pain built in. It’s our physical destiny.

people just disappear. Because it spooks them to be around someone perpetually in pain.

I just think I want someone to tell me how to live my life, Father, because so far, I think I’ve been getting it wrong.

And even though I don’t believe your bullshit and I know that scientifically nothing I do makes any difference in the end anyway, I’m still scared, why am I still scared?

It’s a gentle, loving kiss. It’s nothing short of fucking beautiful.

I can’t have sex with you because I’ll fall in love with you and if I fall in love with you, I won’t burst into flames, but…my life will be fucked.

Some people are just born with fucked personalities. Look at Jake. He is so creepy. It’s not his fault. Why the bassoon?! You wanna know what the bassoon is?! It’s a CRY FOR HELP.

It shouldnt be this funny

I think you know how to love better than any of us. That’s why you find it all so painful.

The only person I’d run through the airport for is you.

Love is awful! It’s awful. It’s painful. It’s frightening, it makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself, distance yourself from other people in your life. Makes you selfish. Makes you creepy. It makes you obsessed with your hair. Makes you cruel. Makes you say and do things you never thought you would do.

I was taught that if we’re born with love, then life is about choosing the right place to put it.

And love isn’t something that weak people do. Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope. I think what they mean is…When you find somebody that you love…It feels like hope.

It’ll pass.

Im SICK

Her attitude. Her humour. Her ability to sum a person up and eviscerate them with a single, brutal insight is was drove me to write her. She said the unsayable, but it was the truth, albeit bent with cruelty.