To Hold Up the Sky

by Liu Cixin

“The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible,”* said the High Archon.

A note on the author: Cixin Liu has spoken in support of the Chinese massacre of its Uighur citizens.

By removing those gene segments that produce the aging clock,

Telomeres

First, Hubble discovered redshifts. I don’t remember when.

Hubble's brilliant observation was that the red shift of galaxies was directly proportional to the distance of the galaxy from earth. That meant that things farther away from Earth were moving away faster. In other words, the universe must be expanding. He announced his finding in 1929. The ratio of distance to redshift was 170 kilometers/second per light year of distance, now called Hubble's constant.

five hundred thousand hours,”

~ 57 years

“Yes. Which one?”

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!!"

the latest incident was in early August of 1972, when a powerful but highly localized eruption created a massive EMP that heavily affected Earth. Compasses in planes and boats jumped wildly, long-distance wireless communications failed, the sky shone with dazzling red lights in high northern latitudes, electric lights flickered in villages as if they were in the center of a thunderstorm. The reactions continued for more than a week.

It's true.

“Troops,” Baker said, looking at the Russian tanks spread in front of them like the veil of death. “Bayonets up!”

“Where do you come from?” the ice sculptor next to Yan Dong asked.

Oops! That's a big faux pas in the Dark Forest.

“I want to go to the ocean!”

Ah fuck.

“Is your home within the Milky Way?”

Just stop. So rude.

“Wherever a low-temperature artist goes, there will be ice.”

This is why you don't advertise your address.

“Tidal waves?” Yan Dong asked. “Yes. Could be the largest ever. The coast is in for a disaster.”

We done fucked up.

Some people had already proposed pulling the whole of Europa out of Jupiter’s deep gravity well, pushing it to Earth, and making it Earth’s second moon.

Nope! Remember, "ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA. ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE"

“Oh, that’s what you get when you take human urine, let it evaporate, and extract the white stuff. It makes the cooked meat red and juicy with a tender texture, while keeping the fatty parts from being cloying and the lean parts from being leathery.”

Urea is acting as a meat tenderizer. Bromelain (from pineapples), papaiain (from papayas) or MSG are all preferable.