A Little Devil in America: Notes in Praise of Black Performance

by Hanif Abdurraqib

As punishment, he’d often hand us massive, dog-eared books, or give us large research projects to undertake, sometimes themed to fit whatever it was we had gotten in trouble for.

she couldn’t hide when she was angry with us, or disappointed in us. This punishment was somehow far worse than a hand cramping while handwriting a three-page paper on the history of chocolate. When someone loves loudly, with everything they have in them, the withholding of that loud love, even briefly, feels impossible to endure.

The punk scene is a soft target, sure. Your scene is too white and will probably stay too white because when the Black kids come to your shows, people make sure to include them in the photos but shove them outta the way once the songs start. Your scene will stay too white because all shows are is a negotiation of space, who deserves it and who doesn’t, and there’s no way you and your crew are gonna make space for people who don’t look like you when most of the room already looks like you.

I can’t live as I once did, telling people that I was doing fine and desperately wanting them to wade through the language and see that I was in pain.

I am thankful for what it is to grow up with a life fastened to another life, even as you both age upward and outward from whatever paths you began on.