He was torn. “Actually,” he wrote the next day, “if I were not in love with Gay, and if I thought Audrey would marry me (which she certainly would not just at present) I should not at all mind having a wife so beautiful, so vivacious and whom I genuinely like as well as admire. “But still Gay with all her faults is Gay, and it would be silly to get married—even if I could—at this moment of European History.”
