Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe #2)

by David Wong

Will was an unreasonably white man in his late thirties wearing a suit the color of a wet sidewalk and the expression of a man who’s just realized the wetness is piss.

When push comes to shove, almost everyone complies.

Everything that happens matters only in terms of what you can learn from it going forward.”

“There are things people actually believe,” said Andre, “and things they only pretend to believe because it’s convenient. But over time it don’t matter which is which, it all just blurs together. People are like that.”

“Because they hate you, Zoey. And because they hate you, they need to come up with a reason to hate you. See, because otherwise, they’re just bad people.”

The federal basic income payments were derisively called “Please Don’t Riot” checks by those lucky enough to not need them.

“I don’t think I could find the Philippines on a map.” “Yes you could, the maps have all of the countries labeled. That’s literally what a map is for.”

Despite everything that’d happened the night before, Echo looked like a collector had kept her in her original box until just now. Zoey said, “My god, were you in an accident on the way home? Did your face hit a truck carrying some kind of horrible toxic waste?” Echo said, “Funny you should say that, because on the way home I waved to you on the sidewalk, but it turned out it wasn’t you, it was a dumpster full of butts. There was a hospital there. And that’s where they throw away their old butts.” “I feel like a pile of trash butts.”

She wasn’t doing this. Fear was interest paid on money you didn’t even owe.