Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe #2)

by David Wong

There was nothing in the world Zoey wanted to do less than she wanted to do this. At this point in the night she was supposed to be extremely drunk and full of sushi, sloppily hitting on some high-society kid who was looking to do something his parents wouldn’t approve of.

Zoey had several vices in her life, perhaps none more dangerous than her addiction to pointless arguments.

You get your heart broken and you get humiliated but the sun rises the next day.

She was supposed to come up with a name for the tower, but she’d been stalling, since sticking her own dumb name on there just seemed weird (the whole idea of having her own building seemed weird, if she was being honest).

Will stood frozen for a moment. He did not like it when people gave things to him unexpectedly, because he hated being put in the position of having to choose between saying “thank you” for something he didn’t ask for, or refusing an act of kindness and looking like a jerk.

Zoey said, “Well, it looks like we’re at an impasse. I’m not declaring myself to be a man-eating liver addict just because you’re pointing a gun at me. If we start allowing truth and lies to be decided that way, society will … well, keep being exactly like it is.”

So call it a game or a war or whatever, ultimately it’s just about that bond. So, yeah, the thing they hate isn’t even you, it’s a fictional version of you they’ve crafted to be as hateable as possible. The more they hate you, the more they love each other.”

Your reactions are entertainment to them, they milk you for tears, for pain. But they’re humans, so at some point they’ll feel guilt over it. That’s when they need to manufacture some new reason to justify it, a shared fiction that lets the game continue.”

Zoey said, “What about Wu? Is he a cannibal? I’m sorry but I’m fascinated by the lore.” “Wu does the killing and the cutting. These rituals originated with Chinese Mafia.” “He’s from the suburbs of Oakland.”

“What I meant to say was I should be at the store explaining to those girls why they did the whole thing wrong and making sure they fix it the right way.” Alonzo started to reply, but Deedee cut him off. “And go right ahead and swallow your speech about how I need to learn to delegate. Not in the mood.”

“You know, I’ll be even madder if I find out this was all arranged by you guys just so my crew would help set up your Halloween maze.”

“They don’t wanna get sued after a bunch of unemployed nerds get piss lung.”

“So where are we going? Time is short, for a whole bunch of stupid reasons.”

Seconds before the one-minute deadline expired, the door was opened by an old man with the kind of face that probably left him few career options outside the death industry.

Or a third grade teacher🙂

Zoey turned to Marti. “Okay. I get that you needed a liver, that this was life and death for you. But why pin it on me? Is it really just because your father is a dick? And I apologize if you’re offended by me calling your father a dick, but please keep in mind that I’m only doing that because your father is a dick.”

Will was outside the door, it turned out, and he calmly kicked the gas grenade aside on his way in. He’d somehow had time to change suits and the bastard had a drink in his hand.

“I can tell you from years of long experience that for every one truly evil man, there’s a hundred wayward souls who just need to be put right. There are ways to set those people on the righteous path without handing them over to sadists to be treated like dogs.”