Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick (Zoey Ashe #2)

by David Wong

if one possessed the skill to craft sufficiently elaborate and convincing lies, then no other skills were really necessary.

sometimes, the story of your life gets so jumbled and messy that you just want to erase it completely.

his daughter, who I’m going to be frank, when they were handing out brains in Heaven she accidentally got back into the tit line,

Of course, you couldn’t always tell an abuser from a glance. But here was the thing: in many cases, you totally could.

“Have you ever followed a squirrel’s life over the course of a day? It’s hilarious.”

And I want to reiterate, if someone tries to sell you a personal flying apparatus, it’s not the flying part that’s hard. It’s the landing. Gravity is what keeps our children and pets from flying off into space, but it is a jealous, jealous mistress.”

Fear was interest paid on money you didn’t even owe.

But seeing her in a candid photo someone else took was like looking in a funhouse mirror, the camera turning her into a cruel mockery of herself. There was the little double chin, the fat rolls, the corpse complexion, the eyeliner that was never, ever drawn exactly the same on both eyes. An unlovable troll that would make guys turn off the bedroom lights so they could pretend she was someone else.