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I once had a number-one album. Now I had crumpled bills in my guitar case.
You could stop using drugs and get clean, but you couldn’t just wipe the slate clean and leave it all behind. Not when it had all become a part of you, changed you, shaped the whole new you that you believed you’d become. All the pain I’d been through would always be a part of me, etched into me, along with all the mistakes, the regrets. If for no other reason than to inform the choices I made going forth. So that, hopefully, I would never make those same mistakes again. In life… or in love.
But the truth of it, the truth I was most ashamed of, was that I didn’t wholly remember.
Everybody wanted something from me, whether they had a right to or not.
But as time passed, I’d come to the realization that I actually hadn’t done anything wrong in that relationship. I was just me, and that wasn’t what he wanted. I didn’t need anyone to forgive me for that.
We’d all made mistakes. We were all entitled to carry on, to make mistakes again, to do our best. To be human.
Personally, all I really wanted was to be free to be me with the people who were closest to me—flaws, fuck-ups and all. Not Elle the rock star. Just Elle. And to be loved for who I really was. That meant accepting other people as they really were, too.
If only Seth Brothers had an identical-looking, identically-talented twin brother who hadn’t broken our hearts… we’d have it made.
But all the while, I felt something else catching fire between us, undeniable… The sparks of a new beginning.
and then it all came flooding back to me. How fucking lovely she was. How much I used to smile when I was around her. How the whole place—any place—would just light up when she walked in. How the stage caught fire when she was on it, making music, right next to me.
How she could burn like a thousand suns onstage, and then act so damn cool off of it.
Little wisps of it were blowing around her face. She looked ethereal and otherworldly, like a mermaid washed up onshore. Beyond beautiful.
But I didn’t care… I wanted her soft, swollen lips to brush against mine, and her tongue to fill my mouth. I wanted to taste her. I wanted those steel-gray eyes looking up at me, and I wanted her smiling. I wanted her whispering my name against my skin. Seth… I wanted her… and I wanted her to want me.
My eyes dropped to the papers in his hand as my heart beat, heavy and quick, in my chest. “I got tested.” He was unfolding the papers, carefully, and held them out to me. “I’m clean. I brought the results for you to see.” He was waiting for me to take them, so I did.
“I’m not pressuring—” He faltered, like he wanted to make sure he chose the right words, as I handed the papers back to him. “I’m not expecting anything.” His gaze collided with mine again. “This isn’t about that, Elle. I’m not trying to pressure you to have sex with me again. I just… I want you to know I’m clean, so you don’t have to worry about what happened the other day.”
But this man… he’d been inside me for mere seconds without a condom, and he was worried about me being worried about it. “No matter what happens, Elle,” he said, “I just want you to feel safe with me.” “I do,”
But I knew. My heart was safe with him. No matter what this was, or wasn’t, or how far it went… Seth would handle my heart with care. If only I could give him that chance.
I wanted to. I so, so wanted to… but I didn’t.
“The Mayes family has some kinda magic, huh?” A small, surprised laugh burst from her. “Yeah. Beautiful assholes?”
But I just wasn’t that kind of man. I wanted her, and when I was with her… when she had me, deep inside her… I didn’t care what it was going to cost either of us.
Every time… it was like he was worshipping me. Like he was hellbent, laser-focused on my orgasm… on sucking and fucking and stroking and squeezing it out of me… Like he couldn’t get off until he’d gotten me there.
“’Cause making you come is kind of a passion of mine.”
I looked at Seth’s face; his words had been deeply sincere. His eyes were gleaming with some emotion I couldn’t identify. I looked away before he could read the emotions in mine. Any of them. Because when we were alone, I was afraid I was letting them show. Worse, when our clothes came off… when Seth touched me, kissed me, held me… when he was inside me… my body told us both the truth. That this was about so much more than music.
All you need is a man who wants to be your man, and wants it hard. Not a man who wants you to be something you’re not. Not a man who wants you hanging on the line, adoring him, for his own shits and giggles. You need a man who wants to be Elle’s man, period. Who’ll do whatever it takes to be your man. No more games. No more bullshit. It’s time for the real deal.”
I knew this wasn’t supposed to happen. We both did. We weren’t supposed to fall for each other… but we were. We both knew we were. I was falling for Seth Brothers, and he was falling for me… hard and fast.
“Seth and I are… together.” Zane’s mouth dropped open, as it all came together in his head… And rendering Zane Traynor speechless was a fucking feat.
“Because,” he said, sliding his hands up to cup my face, “when I’m with you, I feel like myself. And somehow, when you look at me, I know that man is enough.”
“That’s because I love you, Seth.” Tears sparked in his gray-green eyes. “Why?” “Because… when I’m with you… I feel like everything’s going to be okay. Even when it’s not.” “I don’t know how I made you feel that way,” he said. “I never felt that myself, until right now.” “Now?” “Yeah,” he said, brushing his lips over mine. “Right now.”
“I’m here, Elle,” he murmured against my skin. “Right here. You need to know that… No matter what happens with Dirty.”
“You can do it again.” “I didn’t know you were pregnant when I did that.” “So? Pretend I’m not pregnant.” “But you are pregnant.” “Your dick doesn’t have to know that.”
Maybe I wasn’t willing to fuck her deep or hard right now, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t gonna fuck her good.
Ash was bi, and for some reason that gave him the hope that everyone else on Earth just might be, too.
🤣🤣🤣
