Dirty Like Seth (Dirty, #3)

by Jaine Diamond

Last night, after we’d talked, Seth had asked me if I thought I could ever forgive him. I couldn’t really give him an answer, but not because I couldn’t forgive him. It had only started to become clear to me when I woke up this afternoon: I didn’t really believe in forgiveness. For a long time, after Jesse broke up with me, I wanted him to forgive me. I kept waiting for him to change his mind and ask me to get back together with him, and when that didn’t happen, I started hoping he’d forgive me for whatever I did that was so wrong. I even asked him, once, if he was ever going to do that. He’d looked completely stunned by the question. Because of course, there was nothing to forgive. It wasn’t like he was mad at me for what happened between us, for our relationship not working out. At first, I was kind of confused about that. How could I make amends with him if there was nothing to forgive? Maybe I magically wanted something to change, to make things better between us. But that wasn’t going to happen overnight. We’d shared an intimacy that, in the end, hadn’t worked for us, and now we had to live with it. His way of living with it was to move on—big time. For me, it had taken a lot longer. But as time passed, I’d come to the realization that I actually hadn’t done anything wrong in that relationship. I was just me, and that wasn’t what he wanted. I didn’t need anyone to forgive me for that. And I didn’t need to forgive Seth Brothers for being who he was. No matter how much ...