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“Oh! He’s friends with your brother on Instagram,” she said brightly, scrolling through her phone. Strike one for Merritt Van Winston. “He’s quite handsome.” My mother’s approval was an automatic strike two against a man in my book. I wasn’t shopping for a life partner right now. But if I were, my requirements would be wildly different from my mother’s.
“Very nice. You don’t look at all like a drug addict.” “Your approval means the world to me,” she said dryly.
“Come on, Emily,” Derek said, waving the donut in front of my face. My eyes ticked and tocked, following the pastry’s path. “You know you want me.”
“Mmmm.” There was nothing subtle about my vocal reaction to hot sugar exploding in my mouth. “I quite like that sound,” Derek said as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Who’s the hottie?” a woman demanded from behind the camera that was documenting every millisecond. “I’m Jane,” Jane deadpanned. The crowd cracked up.
My printer whirred to life and spat out several pages. “Stop using my equipment!” “You’re welcome to use my equipment at any time, Emily.”
I abhor anyone who can’t be bothered to be real. If you’re an asshole, be brave enough to be an asshole.”
“Do you still steal?” A smile flickered across his face. “Only when absolutely necessary,” he said, slipping a hand into his suit jacket. Oh, God. “Is that my father’s…” “Wallet. Yes. It seems he left it behind. Pity.”
And what billionaire CEO has time to sit through a fundraiser luncheon for—” She paged through her phone. “Oh, hang on, STEM Girls? She might actually do this. The boss loves this shit.”
I pocketed the card and followed Jane and Emily out with the distinct sensation that Lita was staring at my ass. “Me-ow. She didn’t even get to see his schlong like we did, and she’s already going after him,” Jane mused, punching the button on the elevator. “I give off a big schlong vibe,” I explained.
“Why did you carry my purse this morning?” I glanced down at her as she slid her sunglasses on. “In addition to being perfectly secure in my manhood—should you need an emergency tampon run, I’m your man—I was making sure the world knows who’s the boss.”
Jane smirked in the driver seat and then tapped the brakes hard when an elderly man with a walker sauntered into the street from between two parked cars. “You don’t have much time left! Stay on the sidewalk,” Jane yelled through the open window.
She awarded me a smile and not one of the toned-down, proper ones. This was a light-up-her-lovely-face grin. Wow. Was that an angels’ chorus I was hearing?
“We need to stop,” I said, kissing him with a desperation that was quite frankly terrifying. “Absolutely. It’s vital that we stop kissing immediately.” His tongue danced back into my mouth.
He grinned and my knees nearly went out from under me. A smiling Derek Price was dangerous, a weapon of mass destruction.
I should have known I was in trouble when she returned to the ring in short shorts, a sports bra, and her own headgear and gloves in hand. But I was a man. A stupid, stupid man.
The woman was a manipulative liar, and I was already half in love with her.
“Kind?” Daisy scoffed. “How is that the first question you ask about a man who looks like that?” Luna tossed her hair over her shoulder. “That’s what really matters, isn’t it? He can be as beautiful as David Beckham, but if he’s an asshole, that knocks the points off him.”
Despite the fact that it was only Wednesday, it had already been a long week.
“Why do you keep taking your clothes off in my house?” “You’re just so welcoming, Emily. Such a lovely hostess. I feel so comfortable here.” “Bite me.”
“You’re a little mean on your night off. I quite like it.” “Sometimes I really, really want to punch you. Just one shot in the middle of a sentence. I fantasize about it,” she mused. “Yes, let’s talk about fantasies,”
Emily glared at me. “Why are you here?” “If I’m being honest,” I said. “I find you annoyingly irresistible.”
“I really don’t like you right now,” she said. “Unfortunately, that seems to do nothing to my attraction to you,” I observed.
“And you’re volunteering to be my date because?” “I thought I’d made it abundantly clear that I plan to make love to you? Remind me to up my game.”
She’d gone ghostly pale and glassy-eyed before slumping gracefully into a dead faint. It had taken five years off my life.
“Ladies, ladies. Let’s not fight while we’re all in bed together,”
“Isn’t it interesting how Cristoff doesn’t feel the need to tone down his badassery,” Derek mused. “Yet he is still wildly successful.”
“You’re not afraid of dogs, are you?” I asked, surprised. “I’m afraid of gigantic things that trespass in my shower.” “Gee, now you know how I feel,” I said, batting my lashes. “Solid dick joke,” Jane snorted.
“Darling, someday we’ll tell this story at our fiftieth wedding anniversary as the exact moment you realized you were head over heels for me,” he quipped.
“Steve,” she said, putting her hand on my chest. “No. Derek.” “No,” she laughed. “Steve. I have to feed Steve. He doesn’t like it when I’m late.”
“You, Emily Stanton, are one-of-a-kind. It would be a damn shame if you waste one more second of pretending to be something you’re not to make someone else more comfortable. Be yourself in all situations. Wear your red lipstick into the lab. Address your board in kickboxing gear. Take a day off. Cut your damn hair when you feel like it. You’re in charge. And you’re going to win.”
It wasn’t flowers or a love note but diarrheal medicine that made my heart do a slow, inevitable flip-flop in my chest.
“You can buy yourself all the baby-fist-sized diamond pendants in the world, love. I’m wooing you by showing I have your every need covered,”
“You’re my match, love. Things will never be dull or normal. But I promise you that adventure you deserve.”
“She went home early because she has until nine a.m. tomorrow to resign from Flawless.” My fist left a sizable and satisfying hole in the drywall.
Rock bottom was nothing but a foundation. And I would rebuild. But this time, it would be the life that I wanted.
“That is a very big ask,” one of the directors said, mopping his forehead and the back of his neck with a handkerchief. “I’m not asking,” Emily said. “I’m straight, but she’s never been more attractive to me than she is right now,” Jane whispered. “Same boat,” I agreed under my breath.
“How can you ever be sure? How can you ever know that he’s not lying to you?” I leaned in, gleefully. “He doesn’t whisper anything in bed. He’s very vocal. And you’re not his type.”
She slapped me. Hard. The sound of flesh connecting to flesh echoed off the glass. “Aw, is that the best you can do?” I asked.
