Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted

by Suleika Jaouad

But what scared me more than the transplant, more than the debilitating side effects that came with it, more than the possibility of death itself, was the thought of being remembered as someone else’s sad story of unmet potential. My most significant accomplishments as an adult had been fetching coffees and making photocopies as a paralegal, and doing my best to fight a disease I’d never wanted in the first place. I hadn’t done anything I was proud of yet. I had spent my twenty-three years on this planet preparing for a life: pulling all-nighters so that I could get the grades to receive a scholarship to a good college and, one day, have a career of my choosing; learning to cook for the dinner parties I told myself I’d throw one day; saving up my paychecks to be able to go on a long trip somewhere; talking about all the writing I wanted to do without ever actually working up the courage to put any of my writing out into the world. I knew it was likely too late for most of these things, but I was determined to seize the days I had left. Facing my mortality had stripped away any concerns about being cool, and it did not feel embarrassing or too earnest to say that I hoped to make