‘I can see that some people would think that, but it wouldn’t have been selfish because that suggests that I would have been making a conscious decision in my right mind; doing it [ending my life] without caring about the effect of my actions on anyone else and it wasn’t like that, not at all. I wasn’t thinking straight. I couldn’t think straight. I was in pain and at the same time numb. I would have done it in that fogged state almost like I wouldn’t have known what I had done, if that makes any sense. Like when you are so drunk you do things and can’t remember. Exactly like that, but I was
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