‘I went away and drew up a list of all the things you wouldn’t have to suffer if you weren’t here anymore. It was something like this: no more illness, no struggling, no loss, no heartbreak, no ageing . . . But then I considered all the things you would not experience: knowing the blessing of a child, earning the right in old age to become eccentric, getting properly drunk on champagne, sleeping in a meadow, by a brook, waking wrapped in the arms of the one you love, fresh caught lobster eaten on a dock, laughing so hard at nothing much that you feel dizzy with happiness. Oh, my darling, this
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