Long Bright River

by Liz Moore

I was more afraid of the truth than the lie. The truth would change the circumstances of my life. The lie was static. The lie was peaceful. I was happy with the lie.

And for the first time in my career as a police officer—a profession of which I have always been proud—a sickening feeling descends upon me: that I’m on the wrong side of something important.

Look. I get along with people. Keep my head down. People like me. It’s too easy, you know? It’s easy to forget that the system isn’t right. I’m not just talking about Philadelphia. I’m not just talking about these particular homicides. I’m talking about the whole thing. The whole system. Too much power in the wrong hands. Everything out of order.

I can’t sleep, he says. You know what I mean? People dying. Not just the women. Innocent people. Unarmed people. I can’t sleep.