You're Not Enough (and That's Ok): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love

by Allie Beth Stuckey

The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about ruling our feelings rather than allowing our feelings to rule us. Proverbs 14:29 says this: “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” How true is that? When we’re quick to validate our anger, we often say and do stupid things. Most of us have blurted out something hurtful or harsh in the moment that we didn’t really mean. God wants to spare us and those around us from making choices based on our fickle, and at times, invalid feelings. Sometimes our feelings—not just our outward reactions—are not just illegitimate but also sinful. In Matthew 5, Jesus teaches us that sin starts in the heart. He makes clear that hate and lust are sins, not only the murder and adultery that may follow. In the same chapter, he reminds his followers to let go of anxiety and fear. The ninth commandment God gave Israel was a command against covetousness. Ephesians 4:31 instructs Christians to abandon all “bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander.” This means some of our feelings need to be both discounted and repented from. Jeremiah 17:9 warns us that our hearts are “deceitful above all things, and desperately sick.” The emotions that flow out of our hearts can be the opposite of valid: they can be based entirely on lies. Why follow a heart that God promises will lead us astray?