In an Instant

by Suzanne Redfearn

other people overcomplicate things. If you simply say things the way they are, there’s really no right or wrong about it.

That’s the thing about having two older sisters: they’ve always done it first, which means I feel like I have to do it better.

perhaps this is hell, an invisible and silent existence where you have no ability to help those you love, forced to watch them struggle and suffer.

Regret is a tough emotion to live with, impossible to move on from, because what’s done is done.

Don’t just try to be happy when you think of me—be happy. Look at the ocean and smile. Inhale the scent and celebrate. Remember me. Remember that I was never sad for more than a day, rarely for more than an hour. Remember the amazing times we had and what a goofball I was. Remember that I was scared of anything with more than four legs but fearless of adventure. Remember. Carry me inside you as a light that brightens your world and makes everything better. I don’t want to be a void, a hole, a shadow. REMEMBER ME! “Do

I’d give up all ten fingers and all ten toes for someone I love. The problem is loving someone that much and discovering they don’t love you back.”

Are we born with our strength? If so, then should we condemn those who don’t have it?

Being dead sucks, but watching them destroy the life I had is worse. Remember me, I scream. Celebrate me. Do not box me up and throw me away. Stop avoiding every memory of who I was. I lived, and I do not want to only be recognized for my premature death. That was only the end.

The way I view alcohol is that it makes you more of whatever you already are. Happy drunks are happy people made happier; nasty drunks, the opposite.

“How do I get past it?” she mumbles, not necessarily to him. Hate. Hurt. Guilt. And grief. So much of it that I feel its thickness and its weight, like she is drowning and can’t breathe. “A single step at a time,”

“You’re still here,” he goes on. “So there’s not really a choice. An inch, a foot, not necessarily in the right direction, but onward nonetheless.”

I never really looked at my family. We existed around each other in our own worlds, like those screen saver balls that intermittently touch before ricocheting and bouncing off each other, affecting each other’s momentum but never really paying attention to one another.