How to Fail: Everything I’ve Ever Learned From Things Going Wrong

by Elizabeth Day

I have evolved more as a result of things going wrong than when everything seemed to be going right. Out of crisis has come clarity, and sometimes even catharsis.

‘Your problem,’ he said, ‘is that every time you miss a shot you dig yourself into a pit of self-loathing out of which it’s impossible to climb. You need to brush it off and be thinking of the next shot.’

‘Twenty years of anything with another person is a success. If a band stays together twenty years, it’s a miracle. If a comedy duo stays together twenty years, they’re a triumph. Is this night a failure because it will end in an hour? Is the sun a failure because it’s going to end in a billion years? No, it’s the fucking sun.’

most revolutionary act is actually to be happy with yourself.

If you treat yourself as high value, it turns out other people are more likely to do so as well. Because when you play big, it’s difficult to feel small.

default response when things go wrong is always to turn reflection inwards and believe it’s something I have or haven’t done, or some quality that is fatally lacking in me.

‘Adventures do by definition involve risk, but not having an adventure means missing out on life, a far greater risk.’

Living your life according to what everyone else might think of you is to cede control of who you are.