The truest advice is given only when asked for, because the act of asking means your friend is willing and ready to receive it. If a friend of mine had sat me down before my marriage and told me they were worried I was doing the wrong thing (and, believe me, several of them wanted to), I would not have listened and I would have held it against them. I would have felt judged and humiliated and I wouldn’t have understood because I needed to go through that experience and emerge on the other side in order to get what they were saying. In this, as in so many other instances in my life, it turned
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