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the fact that we keep having to get whole new packs of crayons, just for the yellow ones,
the fact that Mike Pence can’t be alone with a woman in case he’s tempted to sin with her,
the fact that I remember Declan Kiberd’s talk at Notre Dame, the fact that that I do remember, and he said people fetishize the past, in Ireland, the fact that he said the Irish were drunk on remembrance, like Hamlet and the ghost, the fact that I can’t understand people who want to go over and over old times, getting all nostalgic and stuff,
the fact that those Open Carry guys traipse all over Coshocton the first Friday of every month just to frighten everybody and there’s not a thing the police or anybody else can do about it, the fact that people are always saying this isn’t “who we are as a nation,” but, well, it kind of is who we are, if you think about it, which I try not to, the fact that those Open Carry guys are given a free pass, while a weary, wan-looking, waiflike mom dragging four kids around is frowned upon,
the fact that 12,000 people are shot to death every year,
the fact that everybody seems to have military-style weapons now, not just hunting rifles, the fact that they all want weapons designed to completely destroy you, not just maim you, the fact that these weapons are designed to kill people as fast as possible, in war, the fact that they explode inside and tear you apart, school shootings, Umpqua, oomph, the fact that ER surgeons are all complaining about the gun injuries they see now, because they’re too hard to fix,
the fact that fourteen thousand people get shot in America every year, ninety-three a day, the fact that it must be thousands already this year, the fact that that really is an enormity,
the fact that nothing compares to the pain of losing Mommy when I was thirteen, nothing, though I didn’t exactly lose her, the fact that she lingered on for years, the fact that I watched my mom turn to mush in my arms, mush, the fact that the whole world’s based on mush, like that soggy old lemon drizzle cake, dust to dust, mush to mush, much of a mushness, charm school, and that is why I don’t like remembering things, the numbness of muted beings,
you gotta go to school, the fact that Mommy and Daddy wouldn’t have liked it if I hadn’t gone to school, the fact that I didn’t do very well at school, but I wasn’t doing too well at home either, the fact that dogs have such sympathy, loyalty, the fact that Anne Elliot misses her mom, the fact that her mom passed away when she was fourteen, the fact that everybody needs a mom, the fact that I have Mommy’s first copy of Persuasion, with her name in it, in her handwriting,
Mommy, the fact that I miss her, the fact that I never got over her illness, the fact that it broke me, the fact that you gotta live in the here and now, the fact that the sun still rises every morning,
the fact that at least King Lear could form a sentence, the fact that soon we won’t remember what it’s like to have a president who can do that, the fact that it’s lucky King Lear wasn’t in charge of any nuclear codes,
the fact that it’s un-American, I know, to admit you’re scared of all these screwballs but I am, my fellow countrymen, the fact that sometimes I wonder if I’m scareder than I even know, like crazee scared, scaredy-cat, Cowardly Lion, World War Three, the fact that I know I’m scareder than I look, the fact that maybe we all are, but life has to go on, the numbness of muted beings, the fact that, I mean, you just never know if you’re about to be shot, accidentally or on purpose, you just never know, and you never will know,
the fact that behind every door there could be somebody sitting up all day and night, holding a gun, ready to shoot you for crossing their lawn, or asking directions, “Knock, knock,” “Who’s there?”, the fact that people used to sit in their rockers on the porch, whittling, ready to say hello as you walked by, but now they’re all hiding inside with a machine gun,
the fact that the ground beef they had on sale today seemed to be from three different countries, so I didn’t get it, the fact that I think ground beef should come from one animal, and one country, and probably not from America, where all the cattle’s kept indoors now in big hangars, fed on “pre-emptive” antibiotics,
the fact that cortisone makes you braver, but also angrier about stuff, the fact that most men surely don’t need help getting angry, the fact that it seems to me they’re already pretty good at it, if you listen to the news, I mean, the fact that somebody said the trouble with men is they’re very emotional, much more emotional than women, which was a surprise, because people are always saying how emotional women are,
the fact that most parents just never expect their kids to do anything really bad, the fact that they expect the kid to be more or less what they want him to be, which is kind of a crazee idea, jiggery-pokery, jiggery, jaggery, jagged, jerk chicken, the fact that once the kid’s finally flipped and gone on a rampage and shot two dozen people in the back, and maybe himself as well, the parents say they had no idea he was capable of harming anyone,
the fact that when the moon is waxing, the dark side is on the left, the fact that that is something I will never remember, the fact that it’s hard enough to remember which is “waxing” and which is “waning,”
the fact that Dennis Quaid sued somebody for telling him Brokeback Mountain was just going to be a little independent film, the fact that they tricked him into agreeing to taking a small fee,
the fact that The Sound of Music has such a gloomy undercurrent, I don’t know why, the fact that, to me, Nazis seem a bit out of place in a light musical, but maybe that’s just me, the fact that America has a pretty gloomy undercurrent these days,
the fact that baking cakes and pies for profit is a lot trickier than it looks, the fact that you have to have steady production and consistency, and reliable products, the fact that what I’ve done is invent a job for myself out of nothing and it still feels precarious,
the fact that even if I never let anyone see my failures, and Daddy isn’t here to get exasperated with me, I fall in my own estimation,
the fact that you make so many crazee decisions in life and later you can’t figure out why you did things the way you did, And that has made all the difference, the fact that I didn’t know she was that sick, the fact that I was worried about her though, the last time I saw her, the fact that she was in the hospital again and I could only stay for an hour that day, and after I saw her I decided I would move in with her, but I never got the chance to tell her, before she passed on, that very night, passed away, the past, the fact that why’d they both have to die so young, the fact that you get
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innocent person, Violetta, Verdi, Nicolai Gedda, but Mommy was the cat’s pajamas, and I neglected her, the fact that I just can’t live with that, but I do, I do live with it, the fact that my only strategy is never to think about it but it’s the truth, the smell of rain, the fact that what right do I have to think about her all the time, when I neglected her while she was still around, the fact that I don’t deserve to think about her, the fact that I don’t deserve the few memories I have of her, lilies of the valley, neglected, negligence,
the fact that I sometimes think I’ll wake up one day and everyone will have suddenly changed their minds about me, or about moms in general, or pie, and I won’t realize because nobody kept me in the loop,
because sometimes it makes me a bit crazee to have to contemplate all these disasters on my own, the fact that I think that’s why people invented languages, so they wouldn’t feel all alone with their terror, the fact that, I mean, we’re all so terrified, who needs terrorists, the fact that the terror of being alone is enough to floor you, never mind the fear of mortality, fear of failure,
the fact that another black guy got shot by the police over a broken tail light, the fact that a guy with a broken tail light gets executed on the spot, but politicians get away with genocide,
Moms Demand Action,
the fact that in response to the slightest financial hiccup, they murder their families, the fact that how is that the answer, the fact that shooting your estranged wife or girlfriend’s become the new normal, the fact that it’s getting so that it’s surprising when men don’t shoot their exes, the fact that that family over in Greenville “did everything together,” and they died together too, thanks to a semi-automatic, “close-knit,” broken, the fact that you never know though, the fact that maybe they “did everything together” because he was the jealous type and wouldn’t let them out of his
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the fact that people who practice the Silent Treatment always leave you guessing about their reasons for it, the fact that that’s part of the torment, but I guess it wouldn’t be the Silent Treatment if they explained themselves,
the fact that I dreamt Katharine Hepburn wanted to stay in our house and write her memoirs but I said we didn’t have room, the fact that Leo and I both like Katharine Hepburn and I was sure her reminiscences would be an interesting read too, but I put my foot down for some reason, I’m not sure exactly why, Guess Who’s Coming to Write Her Memoirs,
the fact that kids are in such demand as gun victims these days, the fact that they often accidentally shoot their moms too, the fact that three-year-olds are always finding loaded shotguns in the back seat and shooting their mom while she’s driving them someplace,
the fact that there are people in this country who attack the Sandy Hook families, and say the massacre never even happened, the fact that I just couldn’t believe it when I first heard that, the fact that that is beyond despicable, the fact that that is, well, the fact that how could anyone be so cruel, to people who lost their children that way,
the fact that I pretend to be coping, like all the other moms do too, but I think we all live in terror that some school shooter will line our kids up one day and make them beg for their lives, the fact that it’s unbearable to think of your kids having to listen to some shooter approaching their classroom, shooting other people on the way there, barging in, shooting the teacher first and then the pupils, one by one, the fact that they might even have to wait while he reloads, the fact that Dylann Roof reloaded five times when he killed those people in the church, and a five-year-old child had
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the fact that cars with drivers are bad enough, Laika, the fact that it’s terrible that poor dog was sent off into space like that, never to return,
the fact that some guys opened fire on some McDonald’s staff in Warren when they found out there were no Chicken McMuffins available, the fact that it’s hard to believe they wanted Chicken McMuffins that much, I mean, couldn’t they just order a cheeseburger,
the fact that the Sandy Hook parents now get death threats, the fact that what happened to compassion, the fact that maybe there never was any really, or did we lose it somewhere, the fact that American women are sixteen times more likely to be shot dead than women in other equivalent countries,
For all of life is leap and recoil, recoil and leap.
the fact that some gunman told his victims not to bunch up, so he could kill them more easily, the fact that a police officer on TV said what used to be a fist fight or road rage is now a shooting, and what used to be a domestic dispute is now a gun rampage, and what used to be a tardy or disruptive student is now a school shooter,
the fact that there is no place for me in this world, no place, the fact that I am broken, broken, the fact that there’s no room in the whole of Ohio for my needs, my desires, my dilemmas, my tragedies, my flat tires, my mommy, Mommy, the fact that I want my mommy,
“First of all, Ronny, I’m shy. Second, I’m busy, like right now the kids are home and we’re making sugar cookies here. And, third, I don’t even know you, and you freakin’ freak me out, you freakin’ freak!”,
the fact that it’s just temporary, this scaredy-cat stuff, the fact that I’m sure I’ll feel better soon,
