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My cane is in fact a weapon that a person of my age is allowed to carry around openly,
I recalled more than a few times in my life when I did not consider the needs of others when I had a dire need not to soil myself, and remembering those times in airports or in traffic has enabled me to entirely eliminate road rage from my life. Whenever someone shoulders past me or cuts me off, I feel like rooting for them instead of getting angry, and I hope they’re able to make it to the toilet before disaster strikes. I cheer for the steadfastness of their sphincters and wish them long life and clean underwear.
Americans did that. I hear it’s because they’re all on drugs, ye know, and about a third of them are afraid of melanin.”