Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing

by Bronnie Ware

Finding the courage to act or surrender will never be as painful as lying on a deathbed with regrets.

Once we acknowledge that limited time is remaining, although we don’t know if that is years, weeks or hours, we are less driven by ego or by what other people think. Instead, we are more driven by what our hearts truly want. Acknowledging our inevitable, approaching death offers us the opportunity to find greater purpose and satisfaction in the time we have remaining.

They say that everything comes down to love or fear: every emotion, every action, and every thought.

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me

The pain I had accepted from others had been their own suffering projected onto me. Happy people don’t treat other people that way, nor do they judge others for living a life true to his or her self.

Learning to view life compassionately, and accept that I may never have the understanding or loving relationships I had once yearned for, was liberating.

not everyone has the courage to face his or her past, at least not until it becomes unbearable.

The most important thing I have learnt in life though, the absolutely most important, is that compassion starts with yourself.

the only way to experience love is to accept people for who they are and have no expectations of them.

‘Live true to your own heart,

Don’t ever worry what others think.

all we ever have is our life today.

Life doesn’t owe you anything. Neither does anyone else. Only you owe yourself. So the best way to make the most out of life is to appreciate the gift of it, and choose not to be a victim.’

I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings

‘We need to be brave enough to express our feelings,’

We must express our feelings in order to grow. It helps everyone in one way or another, even if they don’t realise it. Honesty works.’

The reaction of others is their choice, just as our own reactions are no-one else’s responsibility.

We risk paying a high price if we take people for granted.

it is imperative to share your feelings honestly and listen to others on a regular basis. It is too easy to get caught up in your own little world and forget.

I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends

‘Don’t lose touch with the friends you value most, Bronnie. Those who accept you as you are, and who know you very well, are worth more than anything in the end.

let them know you appreciate them

rather than dwelling on what’s wrong and how hard I’ve done it, I try to find the blessings in each day and appreciate the moment I am in,

‘We have the freedom to choose what we focus on. I try to choose the positive stuff,

‘Every day is a gift

it’s only now I have slowed down enough to truly see the huge amount of beauty each day offers. We take so much for granted.

‘Don’t worry about the little stuff. None of it matters. Only love matters. If you remember this, that love is always present, it will be a good life.’

being who we truly are requires so much courage,

The mind knows no answers. The heart knows no questions.

It is the heart that guides us to joy, not the mind. Overcoming the mind and letting go of others’ opinions allows us to hear our own heart. Having the courage to then follow it is where true happiness lies.

to break free of our own trappings, we must become observers of our own thoughts and habits. This awareness helps solutions become more apparent.

what most occupied the thoughts of dying people were how they lived their lives, what they did, and whether they had made a positive difference to those they left behind, whether that was family, community or whoever.

Letting go of the need for validation through ownership or the expectations of others also brings freedom.

the most important thing is to work towards finding our purpose; to do our work, whatever it is, with the right intention and not get trapped into unhappy work situations by a fear of lack.

By starting with small acts of bravery in expressing ourself, we become more at ease with opening up and even begin to enjoy sharing such honesty.

We owe it to ourselves to make the most of our life and the time we have left, and to live in gratitude for that.

Taking life too seriously or being concerned about how we appear to others, can plant seeds of potential regrets, if we let such thoughts hinder our happiness now.

The same view we look at every day, the same life, can become something brand new by focusing on its gifts, rather than any negative aspects. Perspective is our own choice and the best way to shift that is through gratitude, by acknowledging and appreciating the blessings.

The bravery needed to change your life is easier to find when you are kind on yourself. Good things take time, so patience is also required. Every single one of us is an amazing person, with a potential limited only by our own thinking.

It is time to realise your own worth and to realise the worth of others. Lay your judgements down. Be kind on yourself and be kind to others. No-one has ever truly walked in another’s shoes, seen through another’s eyes, or felt through another’s heart, so no-one knows just how much another has suffered either. A little bit of empathy goes a long way.

Forgive others who may have blamed you for their own unhappiness. We are all human. We have all said and done things that could have been done in a kinder way.

Smile and Know that this time would pass and good would follow.

It was also much easier to be strong in faith when I was smiling. It would automatically lift my mood,

Smile and Know, Thank and Know, became my mantra,