I Will Teach You To Be Rich: No guilt, no excuses - just a 6-week programme that works

by Ramit Sethi

Say you realise your current account charges you fees and you want to switch. When you call, they tell you they can’t offer a no-fee account. Are you going to accept that? Hell no. Go on the offensive. Here’s what to say. YOU: Hi. I noticed that my current account has fees. I’d like my account to have no annual fees, free transactions and no minimum balance, please. BANK REP: I’m really sorry, but we don’t offer that kind of account anymore. YOU: Really? That’s interesting, because [competitor] is offering me that exact deal right now. Could you check again and tell me which comparable accounts you offer? (Eighty per cent of the time, you’ll get a great account at this point. If not, ask for a supervisor.) SUPERVISOR: Hi, how can I help you? YOU: (Repeat argument from the beginning. If the supervisor doesn’t give you an option, add this:) Look, I’ve been a customer for X years, and I want to find a way to make this work. Plus, I know that your customer- acquisition cost is hundreds of pounds. What can you do to help me stay a customer? SUPERVISOR: What an astounding coincidence. My computer is suddenly allowing me to offer the exact account you asked for! YOU: Why, thank you, kind sir. (Sip Darjeeling tea.) The bank has already spent a lot of money to land you as a customer and doesn’t want to lose you over something as small as a £5 monthly fee. Use this knowledge as leverage whenever you contact any financial company.