Think Like a Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Everyday

by Jay Shetty

as the Dalai Lama says, “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”

aim for the feeling that at least 75 percent of your time is spent with people who inspire you rather than bring you down.

The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.

Revenge is the mode of ignorance—it’s often said that you can’t fix yourself by breaking someone else.

Forgiveness has been shown to bring peace to our minds.

The less time you fixate on everyone else, the more time you have to focus on yourself.

We have so much to offer the world, but fear and anxiety disconnect us from our abilities.

The truth is, we’ll never live entirely without fear and anxiety.

And that’s okay, because fear isn’t bad; it’s simply a warning flag—your mind saying “This doesn’t look good! Something might go wrong!” It’s what we do with that signal that matters.

Try shifting from I am angry to I feel angry. I feel sad. I feel afraid.

When we deny fear, our problems follow us.

“When fear is buried, it’s something we cling to, and it makes everything feel tight because we’re under this burden of things we’ve never released.”

Success doesn’t guarantee happiness, and happiness doesn’t require success.

Letting go opened our minds.

You can’t be anything you want. But you can be everything you are.

We come to realize that we don’t have to do everything, that we can’t do everything, that what I can’t do is someone else’s gift and responsibility.… My limitations make space for the gifts of other people.”

Play hardest in your area of strength and you’ll achieve depth, meaning, and satisfaction in your life.

A Leader likes to influence and provide, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a CEO or a lieutenant—you could be a school principal or shop manager.

Past beliefs, false or self-deceiving, sneak in to block our progress. Fears prevent us from trying new things. Our egos get in the way of learning new information and opening ourselves to growth.

Dharma is passion in the service of others. Your passion is for you. Your purpose is for others. Your passion becomes a purpose when you use it to serve others.

When you start the morning with high pressure and high stress, you’re programming your body to operate in that mode for the rest of the day, through conversations, meetings, appointments.

The emotion you fall asleep with at night is most likely the emotion you’ll wake up with in the morning.

Appreciating the everyday doesn’t even have to involve change so much as finding value in everyday activities.

Kālidāsa, the great Sanskrit writer of the fifth century, wrote, “Yesterday is but a dream. Tomorrow is only a vision. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope.”

If you allow yourself to daydream, you will always be distracted.

Create spaces that bring you the energy that matches your intention.

Location has energy; time has memory. If you do something at the same time every day, it becomes easier and natural. If you do something in the same space every day, it becomes easier and natural.

Change happens with small steps and big priorities. Pick one thing to change, make it your number one priority, and see it through before you move on to the next.

the first step to understanding our minds—simply becoming aware of the different voices inside us. Starting to differentiate what you’re hearing will immediately help you make better decisions.

If your mind says, “You can’t do this,” respond by saying to yourself, “You can do it. You have the ability. You have the time.”

Talking yourself through a project or task enhances focus and concentration. Those who do it function more efficiently.

Treat yourself with the same love and respect you want to show to others.

“If you ruminate on sadness and negativity,” he explained, “it will reinforce a sense of sadness and negativity. But if you cultivate compassion, joy, and inner freedom, then you build up a kind of resilience, and you can face life with confidence.”

The Sanskrit word vinayam means “humility” or “modesty.” When we are humble, we are open to learning because we understand how much we don’t know.

When you presume knowledge, you put up a barrier that nothing can cross, and miss out on a potential learning opportunity.

If you inspire special treatment, it is because people appreciate you, but when you demand or feel entitled to it, you are looking for respect that you haven’t earned.

True humility is seeing what lies between the extremes. I’m great at some things and not so good at others. I’m well intentioned but imperfect. Instead of the ego’s all or nothing, humility allows us to understand our weaknesses and want to improve.

At night, when a firefly glows, it thinks, How bright I am. How amazing! I’m lighting up the whole sky! But in the light of day, no matter how brightly the firefly glows, its light is weak, if not invisible, and it realizes its insignificance. Brahma realizes that he thought he was lighting the world, but when Krishna brings the sun out, he realizes that he is no more than a firefly. In the darkness of the ego we think we’re special and powerful and significant, but when we look at ourselves in context of the great universe, we see that we only play a small part. To find true humility, like the firefly, we must look at ourselves when the sun is out and we can see clearly.

He told us to be like salt and pointed out that we only notice salt when there is too much of it in our food, or not enough. Nobody ever says, “Wow, this meal has the perfect amount of salt.” When salt is used in the best way possible, it goes unrecognized. Salt is so humble that when something goes wrong, it takes the blame, and when everything goes right, it doesn’t take credit.

Ideally, gratitude inspires us to become teachers and mentors in our own way, to pass on what we’ve been given in some form.

Instead of worrying what people will say, we filter what people will say. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we cleanse our minds and look to improve ourselves. Instead of wanting to prove ourselves, we want to be ourselves, meaning we aren’t distracted by external wants.

Real greatness is when you use your own achievements to teach others, and they learn how to teach others, and the greatness that you’ve accomplished expands exponentially. Rather than seeing achievement as status, think of the role you play in other people’s lives as the most valuable currency. When you expand your vision, you realize that even people who have it all derive the greatest satisfaction from service.

The most powerful, admirable, captivating quality in any human is seen when they’ve achieved great things, but still embrace humility and their own insignificance.

Gratitude has been linked to better mental health, self-awareness, better relationships, and a sense of fulfillment.

Says Korb, “Once you start seeing things to be grateful for, your brain starts looking for more things to be grateful for.” It’s a “virtuous cycle.”

The highest purpose is to live in service.

I think of compassion as active empathy—not only the willingness to see, feel, and ease the pain of others, but also the willingness to take on some of that pain.

Service is the direct path to a meaningful life.