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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Jay Shetty
Read between
January 19 - January 27, 2023
“If you can’t explain something simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
The monk mindset lifts us out of confusion and distraction and helps us find clarity, meaning, and direction.
The goal of monk thinking is a life free of ego, envy, lust, anxiety, anger, bitterness, baggage.
“The one constant through your life is breath. All your friends, your family, the country you live in, all of that can change. Breath is with you always.”
When you learn
to navigate and manage your breath, you can navigate any situation in life.”
“I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.”
When you try to live your most authentic life, some of your relationships will be put in jeopardy. Losing them is a risk worth bearing; finding a way to keep them in your life is a challenge worth taking on.
But if we take on these goals without reflection, we’ll never understand why we don’t own a home or we’re not happy where we live, why our job feels hollow, whether we even want a spouse or any of the goals we’re striving for.
I didn’t shut out the people who loved me—I cared about them and didn’t want them to worry—but neither did I let their definitions of success and happiness dictate my choices.
“Your identity is a mirror covered with dust. When you first look in the mirror, the truth of who you are and what you value is obscured. Clearing it may not be pleasant, but only when that dust is gone can you see your true reflection.”
When we are buried in nonessentials, we lose track of what is truly significant.
When we tune out the opinions, expectations, and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves.
We can’t address our thoughts and explore our minds when we’re preoccupied.
What was your biggest investment this month?
Does your spending correspond to what matters most to you?
If you want to run a 2:45 marathon, you don’t train with people who run a 4:45.
Better yet, where possible, cross groups: Foster relationships with family-oriented spiritual entrepreneurs who run marathons.
Does this fit my chosen values or those that others have selected for me? Is this dust or is it me?
We have three core emotional needs, which I like to think of as peace, love, and understanding
“If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.”
“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything—anger, anxiety, or possessions—we cannot be free.”
The more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are.
SPOT, STOP, SWAP.
What we judge or envy or suspect in someone else can guide us to the darkness we have within ourselves.
But if I can take pleasure in the successes of my friends and family—ten, twenty, fifty people!—I get to experience fifty times the happiness and joy.
when we feel shame or guilt for what we’ve done in the past, it’s because those actions no longer reflect our values.
The less time you fixate on everyone else, the more time you have to focus on yourself.
Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life. —Buddha
In order to change our relationship with fear, we have to change our perception of it. Once we can see the value
that fear offers, we can change how we respond.
“I see you, my pain. I see you, my fear,”
Later, in a calmer state, you
would reflect on how the fire started or where it came from.
to take a closer look and ask myself, “Is this decision influenced by how others will perceive me?”
THE CAUSE OF FEAR: ATTACHMENT. THE CURE FOR FEAR: DETACHMENT
Once I identified my anxiety about disappointing my parents, I was able to detach from it. I realized I had to take responsibility for my life. My parents might be upset, they might not—I had no control over that. I could only make decisions based on my own values.
“Don’t judge the moment.”
accept his situation and whatever came of it, focusing on what he could control.
Because he slowed down, accepted his fear, and gained clarity around it, he was able to defuse his panic and see that fear was actually alerting him to an opportunity.
our fear manifests in the body, and these bodily cues are the first signals that fear is about to take over.
But the more we practice looking in the rearview mirror and finding gratitude for the hard times we’ve experienced, the more we start to change our programming; the gap between suffering and gratitude gets smaller and smaller; and the intensity of our fear in the moments of hardship begins to diminish.
“What you run from only stays with you longer,”
“Find what you’re afraid of most and go live there.”
“When fear is buried, it’s something we cling to, and it makes everything feel tight because we’re under this burden of things we’ve never released.”
Do you want to memorize all of the scripture because it’s an impressive achievement, or do you want the experience of having studied it? In the first, all you want is the outcome. In the second, you are curious about what you might learn from the process.”
Fear. Thakura describes this as being driven by “sickness, poverty, fear of hell or fear of death.” Desire. Seeking personal gratification through success, wealth, and pleasure. Duty. Motivated by gratitude, responsibility, and the desire to do the right thing. Love. Compelled by care for others and the urge to help them.
Material gratification is external, but happiness is internal.
Purpose and meaning, not success, lead to true contentment.
To live intentionally, we must dig to the deepest why behind the want. This requires pausing to think not only about why we want something, but also who we are or need to be to get it, and whether being that person appeals to us.
