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Our minds can either elevate us or pull us down.
How can we recognize who we are and what makes us happy when we’re chasing the distorted reflection of someone else’s dreams?
When we criticize others, we can’t help but notice the bad in ourselves. But when we look for the good in others, we start to see the best in ourselves too.
Negativity—in conversation, emotions, and actions—often springs from a threat to one of the three needs: a fear that bad things are going to happen (loss of peace), a fear of not being loved (loss of love), or a fear of being disrespected (loss of understanding).
We think that complaining will help us process our anger, but research confirms that even people who report feeling better after venting are still more aggressive post-gripe than people who did not engage in venting.
Don’t just spend time with the people you love—grow with them. Take a class, read a book, do a workshop.
We think freedom means being able to say whatever we want. We think freedom means that we can pursue all our desires. Real freedom is letting go of things not wanted, the unchecked desires that lead us to unwanted ends.
Mudita is the principle of taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in the good fortune of others.
But there is a line between negativity that helps us navigate life and negativity that puts more pain out into the world.
But when we accept the temporary nature of everything in our lives, we can feel gratitude for the good fortune of getting to borrow them for a time.
Gold dust is beautiful, but come too close, and it will blur your vision.
“I wish” is code for “I don’t want to do anything differently.”
“Preach the Gospel at all times. When necessary, use words.”
You can’t be anything you want. But you can be everything you are.
But what happens if we think of those weaknesses not as our failures but as someone else’s dharma?
My limitations make space for the gifts of other people.”
If you think you’re too good for something, you succumb to the worst egotistical impulses, and you devalue anyone who does that chore.
Do you like your job? Do you love your job? Are you good at your job? Do other people need and appreciate your work? Is your greatest skill or passion outside your work? What is it? Do you dream of making it your work? Do you think this is an attainable dream? Do you think there might be ways you could bring your passion to your work? Write down any ideas you have for bringing your passion to the universe.
Seeing something is not the same as noticing it.
People complain about their poor memories, but I’ve heard it said that we don’t have a retention problem, we have an attention problem.
Rather than amplifying your failures, amplify your progress. If you managed to wake up early two days out of seven, encourage yourself as you would a child who was just beginning to make a change.
“Detachment is not that you own nothing, but that nothing should own you.”
“We train our brains. In the end, it is your mind that translates the outside world into happiness or misery.”
The arrogant ego desires respect, whereas the humble worker inspires respect.
When you presume knowledge, you put up a barrier that nothing can cross, and miss out on a potential learning opportunity.
When monks are praised, we detach, remembering that whatever we were able to give was never ours to begin with. To receive gratitude with humility, start by thanking the person for noticing. Appreciate their attention and their intention. Look for a good quality in the other person and return the compliment. Then take the gratitude you are given as an opportunity to be grateful to your teachers.
“The salt is the pain of life. It is constant, but if you put it in a small glass, it tastes bitter. If you put it in a lake, you can’t taste it. Expand your senses, expand your world, and the pain will diminish. Don’t be the glass. Become the lake.”
The monk asks, “Why are you giving out love?” I say, “Because it’s who I am.” The monk says, “So then why expect it back?
You assume the love you receive will come from the person you gave it to. But it doesn’t always come from that person.
We tend to expect every person to be a complete package, giving us everything we need. This is setting the bar impossibly high. It’s as hard to find that person as it is to be that person.
Build and reinforce trust every day by: Making and fulfilling promises (contractual trust) Giving those you care about sincere compliments and constructive criticism; going out of your way to offer support (mutual trust) Standing by someone even when they are in a bad place, have made a mistake, or need help that requires significant time (pure trust)
It has created the word ‘loneliness’ to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”
What you were actually doing at the start of your relationship was creating new memories with energy and openness. Love is kept alive by creating more new memories—by continuing to learn and grow together.
Selflessness is the surest route to inner peace and a meaningful life. Selflessness heals the self.
